Depression Small Ways to Feel Better When You're Depressed Guide Small Ways to Feel Better When You're Depressed Guide Overview Understanding Your Emotions What Does Depression Feel Like? Identify Your Emotions Cope With Your Emotions How to Feel Better When You Feel Lonely When You Feel Emotional When You Feel Unappreciated When You Feel a Loss of Interest When You Feel Irritable When You Feel Tired When You Feel Worthless When You Feel Anxious When You Feel Unhappy When You Feel Helpless When You Feel Hopeless 7 Things to Do When You Are Feeling Unappreciated By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Learn about our editorial process Updated on February 16, 2023 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS Medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change. Learn about our Medical Review Board Print Verywell / Catherine Song Table of Contents View All Table of Contents Look at Actions Say "No" More Often Show Some Kindness Appreciate Others Reframe Unhelpful Thoughts Speak Up Talk to a Professional Frequently Asked Questions Next in Small Ways to Feel Better When You're Depressed Guide 5 Things to Do If You Feel a Loss of Interest It’s tough when you are feeling unappreciated. When you feel this way, it may seem as though you’re being taken for granted. After all, helping a friend move and making a special dinner for your loved ones takes a lot of time and energy. And when people don’t seem to notice, you might feel as though you’re efforts are overlooked and undervalued. If you’re not careful, feeling unappreciated can lead to feelings of resentment and anger. Fortunately, these strategies can help you feel better and they might even prevent the relationship from being tarnished when you feel unappreciated. Look for Appreciation Through Actions Just because someone doesn’t say “thank you” doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you. Not everyone uses words to express their gratitude. Your partner pulling you into a hug or a teenager giving you a big high five might be their way of saying thanks. Similarly, when your coworker invites you to lunch or your friend insists on paying for your coffee, they may be communicating their appreciation to you as well. So, take a minute and consider whether those around you might be showing you their appreciation in a different way. You might discover that they’re likely more grateful for you than you give them credit for. 5 Ways People Show Love and Appreciation Say "No" More Often Sometimes, the more you do for people without complaining, the more they expect you to do. And they might forget to appreciate all you do for them. So it may be helpful to say "no" sometimes. This can remind people not to take it for granted that you’ll always be willing and available to pitch in. Saying "no" sometimes can also be good for you if you’ve become a bit of a people pleaser. Declining a social invite or request for a favor might be tough if you’re used to always saying "yes." But doing so reminds you (and others) that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. There may also be times when you decide to set limits. For example, if you overhear one of your kids telling a friend, “You don’t have to put your dishes in the sink. My parents pick up after me,” you may want to have a talk about your role. Press Play for Advice On How to Stop People-Pleasing Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares why people become people-pleasers and how to stop. Click below to listen now. Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Show Some Kindness Showing kindness can boost your own happiness. So consider whether helping others makes you feel good about yourself, even if others don’t seem to appreciate you as much as you’d like. You might have a chance to learn new skills or sharpen existing ones—like patience. You also might get a chance to exercise or time to be in the car by yourself. Take a look at all the things you gain from doing things for others and you might be surprised to see that there are many things to feel grateful for. Appreciate Others Focusing too much on the lack of appreciation you gain can cause you to forget to show appreciation for others. But saying "thank you" to those around you can inspire others to appreciate you too. Thank your friends and family for all they do for you. You might show your appreciation with a verbal “thank you,” or you might send them a note reminding them how much you appreciate them. Whatever way you choose to show your appreciation, make it genuine and heartfelt. Reframe Negative Thoughts Be on the lookout for exaggeratedly negative thoughts. Thinking things like, “No one ever does anything nice for me,” or “Everyone expects me to do everything around here,” will only make you feel worse. Remind yourself of times when other people have shown appreciation for you (even if you have to think back awhile). And remind yourself of times when you have been able to put limits on what you do. Responding to your unhelpful thoughts with more realistic ones can help you feel a little more appreciated. You might remind yourself of things like, “My family appreciates all I do for them even if they don’t say it,” or “My family appreciates me sometimes,” and you might feel a little better. How Cognitive Reframing Works Speak Up Sometimes, it’s helpful to share how you’re feeling. You might talk to your partner, your boss, or your kids about what’s going on by saying something like, “Sometimes, I feel like my work goes unnoticed. I really enjoy it when my work is appreciated.” Don’t be afraid to say what you want. You might discover that other people are happy to show more appreciation when they understand how important it is to you. But, there’s also a chance that they might insist they already show plenty of appreciation or they may turn it into a joke by saying something like, “I’ll appreciate you when you do better work.” Just remember, some people make jokes when they’re uncomfortable. And their discomfort might just be a reflection of how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you. Talk to a Professional If you chronically feel unappreciated, your relationships will likely suffer. You may want to talk to a licensed mental health professional about how you’re feeling. A therapist may recommend family therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or other services to help you feel better. Get Help Now We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you. Frequently Asked Questions What does it mean when you feel unappreciated? Feeling unappreciated means that you feel that other people don't value you. It might mean that they don't appreciate the things you've done for them, or it might mean that they don't value you in general. This feeling can happen in all types of relationships and in many different settings, such as feeling unappreciated in a romantic relationship or in the workplace. How do you deal with feeling unappreciated? It can be helpful to reframe how you feel about the situation. Consider other ways that people might be showing their appreciation and remind yourself that being thanked isn't the only reason to do nice things for others.Remember that you can't change how other people think or feel, so if it seems they are taking advantage of your kindness, set boundaries, practice saying "no" more often, and speak up about how you are feeling. What happens when someone feels unappreciated? Feeling unappreciated can leave a person questioning their own value. In relationships, it can leave people wondering if their partner actually cares. It can undermine self-esteem and contribute to conflict.In the workplace, it can impair motivation, commitment, and productivity. No matter where it occurs, people who feel unappreciated are likely to eventually draw back and stop putting in effort altogether. A Word From Verywell Everyone feels unappreciated at one time or another. Sometimes, it’s best to give people a break for not expressing their gratitude. At other times, it can be helpful to address the situation head-on by talking to people around you. So determine how you want to handle the situation, and if you’re having a tough time, consider getting professional help. The Importance of Setting Boundaries for Mental Health By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Speak to a Therapist for Depression Advertiser Disclosure × The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation.