Newlywed Advice: Tips for New Married Couples

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The first years of marriage are a critical time in a relationship. In addition to learning more about one another, it is also a time when couples sort out issues about boundaries, expectations, finances, and other concerns. 

Generally, the first couple years of marriage are the hardest for most couples. Don't assume because you are deeply in love your problems will just go away. Research suggests that couples who think their marriage will remain as happy as it was right after they wed are less happy in the long run.

Taking steps to protect your relationship both now and in the future can ensure a healthier, happier relationship. This article discusses some top tips for newlyweds regarding the wedding, being together, and communicating effectively.

Advice for Newlyweds

  • Be flexible about your wedding plans
  • Let yourself relax and enjoy your wedding day
  • Be your own authentic self and let your partner be their true self
  • Be honest
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Don't ask for marriage advice from someone who dislikes your partner
  • Be understanding and show compassion
  • Don't use threats of divorce as a way to get what you want
  • Make time for activities as a couple
  • Don't focus on past regrets
  • Show (and tell) your partner that you love them

Advice to Newlyweds on the Wedding

Before you say "I do," it can be helpful to follow some advise that might make planning the wedding easier and more successful.

  • Have a contingency plan: If you are planning an outdoor wedding, make sure you have contingency plans in the event of inclement weather.
  • Don't strive for perfection: While you might have a clear vision of what you want in your wedding, try to stay flexible and accept that things might not go exactly as planned.
  • Focus on the experience: Rather than worrying about creating perfect Instagram/Pinterest-worthy moments, focus on your partner and the family and friends who are gathered to celebrate your big day. Relax and let yourself enjoy the wedding experience.

Advice to Newlyweds on Being Together

It can also be helpful to follow advice on how to be together once the wedding is over and your married life officially begins. Some tips that can help smooth the transition from singlehood to matrimony include:

  • Find ways to deal with stress together: Stress is inevitable, but finding ways to face it together can help you each feel supported and cared for. Sit down and plan how you'll cope with life's stress, whether social, financial, occupational, or personal. Doing things like relaxing together, discussing your worries at work, and creating a household budget can help you manage a wide variety of stressful situations.
  • Show your partner you care: Strive to do kind things for your partner or look for new ways to brighten their day.
  • Be open and honest: Honesty and openness are cornerstones of a trusting relationship. Sharing things with your partner and being honest with them help increase the closeness and intimacy in your relationship. 
  • Show empathy and compassion: Part of having a healthy relationship is being able to feel connected to one another. Being empathetic, thinking about your partner's feelings, and showing them compassion can help strengthen your emotional bond. Ask them questions, consider their needs, and be there for them when they need support.
  • Plan date nights: You might not be dating anymore, but that doesn't mean you should stop going on dates. Life can get hectic, but setting aside time to focus on one another one-on-one can help you stay connected and close through it all.

Advice to Newlyweds on Communication

Communication is key to a healthy relationship. It is important to remember that good communication often takes work. Common advice for newlyweds on how to build these communication skills in their relationship includes:

  • Use active listening: You can be a more active listener by staying engaged when talking to your partner. Listen attentively, ask questions, and reflect on your partner's words.
  • Try "I" statements: "I" statements are a way of communicating that focuses on your feelings about a situation. For example, instead of saying something like, "You never come home on time," you might address the situation by saying, "I worry when you don't get home when you said you would." Framing conversations in this way can help minimize defensiveness and conflict.
  • Be accepting: You might disagree with your partner about everything, but it is essential to recognize and accept your partner's opinions, feelings, and ideas. 
  • Be present: Set aside time to talk to your partner and be present with them. Limit distractions and focus on really communicating with one another directly.

Even when you're angry, don't threaten divorce as a way to 'win' the argument or get what you want. It impairs trust and threatens the health of your relationship.

Advice on Keeping the Spark Alive

It isn't always easy to keep your relationship fresh, especially when dealing with challenges and stress caused by school, work, and kids. You might still be newlyweds, but there are a number of tips that can help you keep the spark alive in the years to come:

  • Spend time apart: Being together is important, but it is also critical to carve out your own time and space. Enjoy hobbies on your own and cultivate friendships outside of your marriage. Having a little time apart contributes to personal growth and independence, which can help keep your relationship healthy.
  • Go on adventures: Always sticking to the same routine can make anyone feel stuck in a rut. Make it a habit to regularly seek out fresh, novel experiences, such as going on vacation or trying out a new restaurant in town. Studies have actually found that going out on exciting dates can help couples feel closer and more in love.
  • Remember your partner's positive qualities: Regularly remind yourself about the things you love and appreciate about your partner. Remember some of the feelings and emotions you felt when you first started dating. While those initial feelings of passion tend to temper with time, remembering those moments can help you better appreciate your partner and your relationship.

The honeymoon phase can't last forever. Even as newlyweds, you can lay a foundation that will help ensure that your relationship never gets boring.

A Word From Verywell

The first few years of marriage are a time of discovery, change, and growth. Following some advice for newlyweds can help ensure your marriage gets off on the right foot and continues on the healthy path for years to come.

Also, remember that you don't need to wait for problems to arise to consider couples therapy. Talking to a couples counselor can help you strengthen your relationship skills and communicate more effectively. It can be a great way better to understand yourself, your partner, and your marriage.

2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Newlyweds’ optimistic forecasts of their marriage: For better or for worse?J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):531-540. doi:10.1037/a0033423

  2. Aron A, Norman CC, Aron EN, McKenna C, Heyman RE. Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship qualityJ Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;78(2):273-284. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273

By Sheri Stritof
Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book.