The 10 Best Books About Infidelity of 2020

How to cope with a cheating partner

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Our Top Picks

Healing From Infidelity at Amazon

"Written by an acclaimed therapist, this book can help you work through the disbelief and anger of an affair."

Infidelity at Amazon

"Dr. Rosenberg guides readers on how to prevent cheating, stop it in its tracks, and repair a relationship after the fact."

Out of the Doghouse at Amazon

"Weiss offers insights through the lens of the betrayed partner, sharing their feelings and views of the situation."

The State of Affairs at Amazon

"Mixing true stories with psychological and cultural analyses, Perel brings the taboos of modern marriage to life."

Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life at Amazon

"It serves as a practical and relatable guide for anyone who's been cheated on and needs a friend."

When You're the One Who Cheats at Amazon

"Taking a non-judgmental approach, Dr. Tammy Nelson advises readers on the implications of infidelity."

Conscious Uncoupling at Amazon

"Author Katherine Woodward Thomas helps readers reframe the way they view the end of a relationship."

Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage at Amazon

"Written by an infidelity recovery expert, the book serves as a tool to help readers unpack and process a damaged relationship."

The Road to Reconciliation at Amazon

"Offers advice on finding safety in a time of turmoil, assessing one's needs, making amends, and promoting change."

Anatomy of an Affair at Amazon

"Gives both happy and struggling couples advice on healing from and avoiding infidelity."

Infidelity—or cheating—is increasingly prevalent in today's society. For those who've been in a toxic relationship with an unfaithful partner, there are a number of books that can offer clarity and guidance in an intensely personal and difficult time. While self-help books are far from a one-size-fits-all ideology, the right one could help launch you on your healing journey.

Here are the best books about infidelity for every type of relationship.

Our Top Picks

Healing From Infidelity: The Divorce Busting Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair

"Healing From Infidelity" is the written version of a couples therapy session. This book serves as a powerful blueprint for wounded couples looking to work through the trauma of infidelity and restore their relationship.

Michele Weiner-Davis, acclaimed relationship expert and therapist, guides couples in a step-by-step program to make amends and rebuild trust following an affair. This interactive book includes sections on dealing with traumatic feelings, how to respond to questions after an affair, overcoming flashbacks, finding forgiveness, and more.

Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat

Infidelity breaks down why people cheat and what to do when faced with a cheating partner. 

Kenneth Paul Rosenberg, MD, a psychiatrist specializing in addiction, guides readers in a science-backed journey to understanding all sides of infidelity. This book breaks down the three types of cheating—emotional, virtual, and phys­ical—as well as what drives one toward an affair, and how to process and heal from a cheating partner.

Dealing with subjects like what counts as infidelity and how to prevent it from ruining one's life, Rosenberg explains how to prevent cheating, stop it in its tracks, and repair a relationship after the fact.

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating

In Out of the Doghouse, author Robert Weiss, LCSW, gives men who’ve been caught cheating the concrete steps needed to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and save their relationship following an affair. This book is brutally honest, delving into the mental and emotional flaws of men and covering the skills they need to build in order to mend a deeply bruised relationship.

Throughout the book, Weiss offers insights through the lens of the betrayed partner, sharing their feelings and views of the situation. This book also explores digital-age infidelity, which the author defines as ”[t]he breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner."

Weiss is a therapist specializing in infidelity and sexual compulsions with specialties in digital-age sex, intimacy, and relationships.

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

In her book, The State of Affairs, psychotherapist Esther Perel takes a 360-degree approach to relationships through the lens of infidelity. Addressing every possible stance, Perel dives into the deepest questions around love, lust, commitment, and affairs, like why people cheat—even those in happy marriages—and whether an affair-proof marriage is even possible today.

Mixing true stories with psychological and cultural analyses, Perel brings the taboos of modern marriage to life.

Written to be enlightening, honest, and entertaining, “The State of Affairs” leaves readers with a newfound understanding of the feelings, motivations, and uncertainty experienced in relationships.

Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide

"Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" is a middle-of-the-night pep talk from a close friend—the sassy, straight-shooter to be exact.

This book does not aim to save one’s relationship after infidelity; instead, it's written to save one’s sanity. Full of wisdom and uncensored wit, the book serves as a practical and relatable guide for anyone who's been cheated on and needs a friend who "sits with you at 3 in the morning, pours you a bowl of Raisin Bran, and tells you to leave that cheater.” 

"Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" is sprinkled with hilarious cartoons that satirize the arrogance of cheaters. Author Tracy Schorn is a journalist, cartoonist, and blogger who runs the successful infidelity blog "Chump Lady." She’s living proof that one can survive the nightmare of infidelity and come out thriving on the other side.

When You're the One Who Cheats: Ten Things You Need to Know

Unlike most books on infidelity, this one is tailored to the partner engaging in the affair. “When You're the One Who Cheats” helps readers find clarity and address the meaning behind their acts and emotions. 

Taking a non-judgmental approach, Dr. Tammy Nelson advises readers on the implications of infidelity, with exercises and actionable steps to move forward with their lives. This book addresses questions like deciding whether to tell a spouse about their affair and how to figure out if it’s worth staying in the marriage.

Nelson is a board-certified sexologist, a sex therapist certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, a licensed professional counselor, a certified Imago relationship therapist, and a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor.

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Touted by Gwyneth Paltrow—who used the ideology to describe her divorce with Chris Martin—conscious uncoupling is a method used to end a relationship in a holistic and respectful manner.

In this New York Times bestseller, author Katherine Woodward Thomas helps readers reframe the way they view the end of a relationship. Through her five-step method, readers gain the skills and tools needed to turn the page and empower themselves to move into the next chapter of life. Woodward Thomas is a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage

For those reeling from the misery of an unfaithful partner, this book is a first step toward recovery. Talal H. Alsaleem, LMFT—infidelity recovery expert, marriage counselor, and researcher—leverages time-tested advice and innovative infidelity counseling methods for coming to terms with an affair, learning how to process it, rebuilding one’s self-esteem, and making an informed decision about the future of the relationship. 

This book serves as a tool to help readers unpack and process a damaged relationship and find the clarity and confidence needed to move forward.

The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad

"The Road to Reconciliation" is for anyone who has battled a relationship affected by selfishness, violence, abuse, addiction, or betrayal. Author Keith Wilson—mental health counselor and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor—guides readers through relationship ambivalence with a personalized approach.

This book serves as a tool to help readers decipher their emotions and dissect the situation. Wilson also offers advice on finding safety in a time of turmoil, assessing one's needs, making amends, and promoting change.

Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

"Anatomy of an Affair" confronts the harsh reality that no marriage is safe from adultery. Leveraging years of couples counseling, author Dave Carder—a pastor and counselor specializing in adultery recovery and prevention—helps readers understand what drives a partner to cheat and how to recognize the red flags before it happens. 

This book takes a deep dive into infidelity and why people have affairs from a religious point of view. Carder shares tips for cultivating an adultery-proof marriage as well as providing additional insights with supplemental charts and personal assessments. 

Through real-life stories, clinical insights, and current data, "Anatomy of an Affair" gives both happy and struggling couples advice on healing from and avoiding infidelity.

Why Trust Verywell Mind

Emily Stone is a Chicago-based journalist specializing in lifestyle content, nonprofit storytelling and human interest stories. Emily has written for various publications and brands, including Better, Chicago Athlete Magazine, and POWWFUL. Emily is a born bookworm and only recommends books she believes will offer real value to the reader.

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