Relationships Spouses & Partners Benefits and Risks of Apps Like 'Happy Couple' By Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. Learn about our editorial process Updated on August 22, 2021 Fact checked Verywell Mind content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article. Content is fact checked after it has been edited and before publication. Learn more. by Adah Chung Fact checked by Adah Chung LinkedIn Adah Chung is a fact checker, writer, researcher, and occupational therapist. Learn about our editorial process Print Milton Brown / Creative RF / Getty Images It seems there are apps for just about anything, but could a couples app, such as Happy Couple, really improve your relationship? In other words, once you find that special someone (these days, often through a dating app), are there apps that can help keep that relationship going for the long run? Each relationship app is different and every couple is different, so there's not a simple answer. Before signing up, it's a good idea to take a moment to think about any potential downfalls or risks as well as the potential benefits. Potential Benefits First, ask yourself why you are considering a couples app. Could an app offer the chance to improve communication and enhance emotional intimacy, or is it simply another "screen time" activity that will further limit the face-to-face time so many of us are lacking? There are a number of ways that a couples app could improve your relationship. Apps with questions that you've been putting off or avoiding could be a stimulus to have an in-depth conversation about some of those issues. While technology can create distance between a couple, it can also help create closeness. Keeping in touch with your partner via fun or flirty texts throughout the day is a great way to express your love and that you are thinking about them. Alternatively, never having any deep, meaningful face-to-face conversations is not likely to sustain the intimacy needed for a long-term relationship to survive. Some apps help people examine the day-to-day challenges couples face and the difficulty in maintaining balance. An app may help you both look at your individual responsibilities in the relationship in a concrete and clear way, and even help you see if you are heading in the direction you hope by looking at short-term and long-term goals. A particularly positive benefit of following prompts and addressing questions on these apps is that they may help you break through some of your assumptions about the other person. We all make assumptions about what our partners enjoy and value, but sometimes we are wrong. And being wrong can lead to any number of misunderstandings. Yet, many couples make choices each day based on these assumptions. Another one of the potential benefits of an app is the potential of deepening your relationship's honesty, communication, and connection—and working through any unspoken issues you may be harboring. What if you are honest, for example, and let your partner know that you think they are poor at apologizing? If you are prepared to work through the issue together, it could bring the two of you much closer. Pitfalls and Risks Deciding if a couples app has potential benefits for you is important as you consider adding more screen time to your day. A nationwide survey conducted by Common Sense Media in 2016 found that adults (parents) spend an average of nine hours and 22 minutes in front of a screen each day (screens referring to smartphones, tablets, computers, or televisions). This time is not due to the need to use screens at work, as eight hours of the screen time was deemed "personal" and not work-related. A related issue is that using a couples app might add yet another item to your to-do list. If you view the app as something you have to do rather than want to do, especially if it's something only one of you wishes to do, it could lead to greater feelings of distance or resentment. Those who are dealing with a partner who doesn't want to change aren't likely to find that an app solves the problem. The motivation behind purchasing a couples app can be key as to whether the app could help or hurt. If your motivation in purchasing a couples app is to point out your partner's faults, it's not likely to be of benefit and could actually be harmful. If you are hoping that the app will somehow "open your partner's eyes" to something they are doing wrong, finding a good relationship counselor might be a better option. These apps are also not all-inclusive, and may not delve into the issues that are most important to address in your relationship. In this sense, and if you have any serious issues, it could be like applying a bandage over a wound that continues to bleed. On the surface, it might look better, but underneath, things could actually be worsening. If you do choose to buy a couple's app, take a moment to think about the power of your words. Words can cause tremendous emotional pain and can be much sharper when typed on a screen than when said in person. Overall, taking a moment to think of your intent before getting a couples app is an excellent way to weigh the benefits and downsides. If you are hoping that it will be fun and enrich your relationship, it very well may. If you are instead considering it as a way to repair serious relationship problems, think twice. Benefits Prompts discussing topics you may have been avoiding Provides structure for communication Breaks through assumptions Drawbacks Is one more bout of screen time Expectation that the app will lead to your partner changing is likely misplaced Doesn't replace relationship counseling for serious issues Couples Apps There are a number of different apps that are designed to improve relationships. Some, such as Pathshare, help you keep track of each other's day when you are apart. Others, such as Honeydue, can help you manage financial issues. Yet others focus on specific relationship concerns ranging from sex or fertility to how to make up after a fight. These are some that are designed to enhance your overall relationship. Happy Couple App The Happy Couple app is available for download on both Apple and Android devices and uses quiz-style games to learn more about what your partner really thinks. Each day you open the app on your own phone and your partner does the same. There are six topics from which your questions are generated: Sex Responsibilities Communication Recreation Emotional Information After setting up an account with your information, you generate a link to send to your partner so that they do the same. After you are both set up, you answer several questions about yourself and your partner on a daily basis. Later, visit your feed and find out if your answers matched or not. You get points for correct matching answers that unlock new levels. Discovering answer matches and mismatches is the best part. Each partner only gets half the answers, which makes you sit together to review the rest. You are bound to encounter some things you didn’t know about your significant other. Even marriage therapists may be surprised! Just having the app, however, is not enough. One of the most important parts that you both must do is sit down and review your answers. This helps create the deep and meaningful conversations necessary to build connection and closeness in your relationship. The content of the questions is written by Dr. Lonnie Barbach, a renowned California-based psychologist, and author of several best-sellers on sex and relationships. Dr. Barbach discusses her collaboration in developing this app. “I'd love to see it help couples have better relationships,” says Dr. Barbach. “Like my books, my goal is a way to help a larger audience who cannot afford therapy.” She believes the app has also been useful for dating couples “to learn more about each other and to better determine if they are a good match” and long-married couples to “inspire new conversations.” She notices that the app encourages conversation when couples are too shy to bring up important topics such as sexual interests. Dr. Barbach emphasizes her goal is “to help couples have the kind of conversations that keep their relationship alive and interesting.” Questions and tips were generated from scouring the internet on the topic of relationships. Dr. Barbach "worked backward" to develop questions out of the content. The app addresses couples at different relationship stages and has been surprisingly beneficial for long-distance relationships. Gottman Card Decks An app called Gottman Card Decks is another that has the potential to improve your relationship. Put out by the Gottman Institute, the card decks make use of research-based approaches to relationships and are modeled after card decks used for weekend workshops for couples. With 14 decks and over 1000 cards, the Gottman Card Decks use open-ended questions to get you and your partner talking about a multitude of topics that you may have overlooked. But that's not all. The cards are unique in helping people to name the emotions and the degree of emotions they are feeling. They are also designed to help people better express their own needs in the relationship as well as to express empathy towards the other partner. Altogether, there are many ways the cards can help couples reconnect in our currently overwhelming world. Couple The Couple app, formerly known as Pair, is another couples app that is somewhat like Facebook messenger but designed for only two people. Unlike some apps that are designed to help both members of a couple keep track of day-to-day activities, however, the Couple app focuses on helping people express love towards each other. The app, which is available on both Android and Apple devices, is set in a timeline format. Features range from sharing photos to Facetime to using the thought bubble to let your partner know what you are thinking about them. A Word From Verywell Downloading a couples app has the potential to enrich your relationship, improve communication, and enhance intimacy, but it is not for everyone. Before downloading one of these apps, take an honest look at your motivation. If you are wishing to "correct" your partner, seeing a counselor or therapist face to face might be a much better option. That said, since so many apps currently focus on finding the right person, or specific issues such as birth control or infertility, it's exciting to see apps that focus on maintaining those relationships over the long run. 4 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Antonucci TC, Ajrouch KJ, Manalel JA. Social relations and technology: Continuity, context, and change. Innov Aging. 2017;1(3):igx029. doi:10.1093/geroni/igx029 Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication? J Marriage Fam. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301 Lauricella AR, Cingel DP, Beaudoin-Ryan L, Robb MB, Saphir M, Wartella EA. The Common Sense census: Plugged-in parents of tweens and teens. Common Sense Media; 2016. Davoodvandi M, Navabi Nejad S, Farzad V. Examining the effectiveness of Gottman couple therapy on improving marital adjustment and couples’ intimacy. Iran J Psychiatry. 2018;13(2):135-141. Additional Reading Sheikh K. Digital hypocrisy. Scientific American Mind. 2017;28(2):10-11. doi:10.1038/scientificamericanmind0317-10b See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Speak to a Therapist for Relationships Advertiser Disclosure × The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation.