Can an App for Couples Really Improve Your Relationship?

Modern day love needs an app

Happy Couple app
Play the Happy Couple app, then discuss your responses together. Milton Brown/Creative RF/Getty

I think the technology craze of today’s times has seeped into our intimate relationships and it’s not going away. There are a gazillion apps to help you find someone. But very few available help you keep the relationship going!

While technology can create distance between a couple, it can also help create closeness. Keeping in touch with your partner via fun or flirty texts throughout the day is a great way to express your love and that you are thinking about him or her. Alternatively, never having any deep, meaningful face-to-face conversations is not likely to sustain the intimacy needed for a long term relationship to survive.

Now there is a way to combine both. For those who love technology and are looking for an easier way to connect, try the “Happy Couple” app. So far over 100,000 people have given it a try. There were some minor bugs to work out, as in all apps, but otherwise it worked well. The support team quickly responds and fixes any glitches identified by user reviews and the developers also continue to find ways to enhance user experience.

The Happy Couple app, available to download on both Apple and Android devices, is a “fun quiz-style game to discover what your partner really thinks” according to the website. Each day you open the app on your own phone and your partner does the same. There are six topics from which your questions are generated. The topics are, “sex,” “responsibilities,” “communication,” “recreation,” “emotional” and “information.” After setting up an account with your information, you generate a link to send to your partner so that he or she does the same. After you are both set up, you answer several questions about yourself and your partner on a daily basis. Later, you visit your feed, you find out if your answers matched or not. You get points for correct matching answers that unlock new levels. 

Discovering answer matches and mismatches is the best part. Each partner only gets half the answers which makes you sit together to review the rest. You are bound to encounter some things you didn’t know about your significant other. There were even some surprises for me--a marriage therapist married over fourteen years! One of the most important parts that you both must do is sit down with your honey and review your answers. This helps create the deep and meaningful conversations necessary to build connection and closeness in your relationship. After doing this with my husband, we both really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it. 

“The app provides a launching pad for those conversations that we sometimes don't want to have.” ~ A Happy Couple app user

According to the wife of another married couple using the app, she reports it “has forced us into conversations about our future ...parenting…our sex life...our emotional connection. We find ourselves bringing up the questions of the day and discovering things that maybe caused a misunderstanding.” She also comments, “Sex and money are tough for us to talk about. The app provides a launching pad for those conversations that we sometimes don't want to have.” This app user also noted that her normally reserved husband is able to open up much more through use of the app.

In addition to daily questions, the app goes further by suggesting a couple hundred tips that are personalized based on your type of relationship (married vs. dating), partner ages, whether you have kids, and other aspects of your relationship. There are also a few hundred ideas for “challenges” couples can do with each other.

The content of the questions is written by Dr. Lonnie Barbach, a renowned California-based psychologist, and author of several best-sellers on sex and relationships. Dr. Barbach discusses her collaboration on developing this app. “I'd love to see it help couples have better relationships,” says Dr. Barbach. “Like my books, my goal is a way to help a larger audience who cannot afford therapy.” She believes the app has also been useful for dating couples “to learn more about each other and to better determine if they are a good match” and long-married couples to “inspire new conversations.” She notices that the app encourages conversation when couples are too shy to bring up important topics such as sexual interests. Dr. Barbach emphasizes her goal is “to help couples have the kind of conversations that keep their relationship alive and interesting.” 

Questions and tips were generated from scouring the internet on the topic of relationships. Dr. Barbach "worked backward" to develop questions out of the content. There are currently 1,700 of them, and app users are now sending some questions in too. The app addresses couples at different relationship stages and has been surprisingly beneficial to the long-distance relationship.

I recommend giving this app a try! Regardless of the stage of your relationship, chances are this app will help you feel closer to your partner. It is a modern day tool to enhance intimacy and connection. So, yes, an app really can improve your relationship.