Cognitive Restructuring for Stress Relief

A Little Cognitive Restructuring Can Bring Significant Change

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There’s plenty of solid evidence that how we think about what’s going on in our lives can greatly contribute to whether or not we find events in our lives stressful. Cognitive distortions, or patterns of faulty thinking, can impact our thoughts, behaviors, and experience of stress.

Our self talk, the internal dialogue that runs in our heads, interpreting, explaining and judging the situations we encounter, can actually make things seem better or worse, threatening or non-threatening, stressful or…well, you get the picture. Some people tend to see things in a more positive light, and others tend to view things more negatively, putting themselves at a disadvantage in life. (See this article on optimism and pessimism to see how.) But, as our self-talk develops starting in childhood, how does one go about changing these habitual thought patterns?

Cognitive restructuring, a process of recognizing, challenging, and changing cognitive distortions and negative thought patterns can be accomplished with the help of a therapist trained in cognitive therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy. However, in many cases results can also be achieved at home with the right information and commitment to change. Here are some general tips on changing negative self talk. For more specific tips, keep reading.

Awareness Is The First Step

It's difficult to change something we don't know is there. With many cognitive distortions, including "all-or-nothing" thinkig, jumping to conclusions, and emotional (versus logical) reasoning, it's difficult to recognize that any distortions are taking place, and the effects of this distorted thinking follow seamlessly. To be better able to recognize distortions when they come into play, familiarize yourself with this list and be on the lookout. Once you know what to look for, you may recognize them in yourself and others, and then you're ready for the process of cognitive restructuring that is necessary to get things back on the right track.

With time and practice, this type of cognitive restructuring will become second nature to challenge your negative thinking patterns, and replacing them with more positive thoughts and views will become easy.

Recognize Your Power

When we feel no choice in a situation, it can create significant stress and even lead to burnout. The statement, “I can’t work out because I have to volunteer at the kids’ school again,” ignores the reality that both activities are choices. Just because one choice isn’t chosen doesn’t mean it wasn’t a choice to begin with. Changing your ‘have to’s and ‘can’t’s’ into ‘choose to’ and ‘choose not to’ (or some smoother-sounding approximations) can actually remind you that you do have choice in a situation, and help you feel less stressed. “I’d like to work out, but I choose to volunteer at the kids’ school instead,” feels less confined, and sounds more fun, doesn’t it? (For more on recognizing choices in your reality, see this resource on locus of control.) Soon, you'll become more automatic in amending your cognitive distortions, and know how to develop a more positive way of thinking, reducing stress in the process.

Cut Down On The ‘Shoulds’

It's easier to tackle a challenge when you feel that you're doing it because you want to and not because you have to. In this vein, the word "should" is a harbinger of stress, making most of us feel that there's a right way and a wrong way to do things, and making us feel that we must do things a certain way when there may be a better way for us. (Read more about how "shoulds" can cause anxiety.) When we feel the pressure of the word "should," we may want to remind ourselves that when we feel we "should" do something, we're not always right. Start questioning your "shoulds" and be sure that whatever you do, you're doing it because you want to and feel it's the best path for yourself. This is true for others, too.

Actively Focus on the Positive

Along these lines, many people find that keeping a gratitude journal -- a daily log of things for which they are grateful -- is immensely helpful in that it not only supplies a list of blessings to look over, but it trains the mind to notice these blessings throughout the day, and it affects their whole experience of stress.

Stay In The Here And Now

Try to stay in the present, the specific problem, and finding a solution that works. This can effectively help you deal with a variety of stressors without becoming as overwhelmed. (For more, also see this article on communication skills.)

Again, if you’re dealing with a more severe form of stress or a clinical disorder, you’ll see the best results with a trained therapist. However, these techniques for cognitive restructuring can be helpful in changing negative thought patterns to relieve daily stress; with practice, you may see a significantly positive change in outlook, and a decrease in your experience of stress.

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