Self-Improvement The Power of Regret With Bestselling Author Daniel Pink By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Learn about our editorial process Published on February 07, 2022 Print Verywell / Julie Bang Table of Contents View All Table of Contents Meet Daniel Pink Why Daniel Pink Is Mentally Strong What You’ll Hear on the Show What You’ll Learn About Mental Health and Mental Strength Quotes From Daniel More About the Podcast Every Monday on The Verywell Mind Podcast, Editor-in-Chief Amy Morin, LCSW, interviews authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and other inspirational people about the strategies that help them think, feel, and do their best in life. Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Meet Daniel Pink Daniel Pink is a New York Times bestselling author whose books have sold millions of copies around the world. His fascinating titles about business and behavior include books such as "When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing" and "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us." His newest book, "The Power of Regret," discusses how to use regret to move ourselves forward in life. He surveyed more than 15,000 people from around the world and uncovered some interesting facts about regret. Why Daniel Pink Is Mentally Strong Daniel Pink studies things for a long time before creating books about a topic. He takes subjects that are misunderstood or complex and makes them easy to understand. He also sheds new light on old ideas. He isn’t afraid to talk about his own vulnerabilities as well. In fact, in this episode he shares some of his regrets as well as how he works on coming to terms with his failures. Rather than simply point to himself as an expert who never makes mistakes, he shares that the reason he often studies certain topics is because he’s struggled with these things as well. As he mentions on the show, being able to talk about vulnerabilities isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. How to See Vulnerability as a Strength, Not a Weakness What You’ll Hear on the Show What it really means to regret to something Why you might want to switch answers on a multiple choice test (and how the fear of regret keeps us from doing it) Why we sometimes don’t want to acknowledge that we have regrets The great lengths we go to in an effort to avoid feeling regret The four types of regret The differences between what younger people regret versus older people The most common types of regrets Daniel uncovered in his research The strategies that can help us cope with regret Why so many people regret being mean to others when they were kids and what this says about us How sharing your regret lessens the burden How regret can help you move forward in a healthy way How to learn from regret The biggest regrets Daniel has in his life Why Daniel created a list of all his regrets and failures How to handle the fear of doing something you might regret later Sex-Related Regrets Don't Change Future Behavior, Study Shows What You’ll Learn About Mental Health and Mental Strength There are plenty of people who think having no regrets is a badge of honor in life. But the truth is, everyone probably regrets something—and that’s not a bad thing. Knowing you can do something you regret and still be OK is a sign of strength. After all, if you lived your life to avoid ever feeling regret, you wouldn’t take many risks. You may need to examine what you’re more likely to regret–moving to a new city or always living in the same place? Or, will you regret going after that person you love or never taking the chance? Although regret feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We can learn a lot from regret if we allow ourselves to experience it. Quotes From Daniel Daniel Pink Everybody has regrets. It's part of our cognitive machinery. — Daniel Pink There's little evidence that self criticism leads to positive outcomes. Self-esteem isn't that much better. What we should be doing is self-compassion. We think when we disclose our vulnerabilities, our mistakes, or our weaknesses, people will like us less. They generally like us more because they admire our courage. Just writing about your regret for 15 minutes a day for three days can be really useful because it defangs the regret. It makes it less menacing and it begins the sense-making process. What Is Compassion-Focused Therapy? More About the Podcast The Verywell Mind Podcast is available across all streaming platforms. If you like the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too. Download the Transcript Links and Resources Visit Dan Pink’s website Check out Dan Pink’s books Follow Dan Pink on Instagram If You Liked This Episode, You Might Also Like These Episodes Psychological Tricks for Creating Lasting Change with Professor Katy Milkman How to Get Comfortable With Uncomfortable Feelings With Actor Skyh Black Choose Your Story, Change Your Life With Bestselling Author Kindra Hall What Is a Guilt Complex? By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Speak to a Therapist Online Advertiser Disclosure × The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation.