ADHD Adult ADD/ADHD Print Improving Your Love Life With ADD/ADHD By Keath Low Keath Low, MA, is a therapist and clinical scientist with the Carolina Institute for Developmental Disabilities at the University of North Carolina. She specializes in treatment of ADD/ADHD. Learn about our editorial process Keath Low Updated on September 03, 2018 ADHD Overview Symptoms Causes Diagnosis Treatment Living With In Children Martin Dimitrov/Getty Images Positive connections with others are so important in our lives. Repeated failures in friendships, dating, and intimate relationships can cause a person to withdraw and become isolated as a way to protect themselves from further hurt. If you see this is a pattern in your life, make a decision to take a chance again. Rather than avoiding relationships, make a positive effort to re-engage. Step out of your comfort zone, examine your old patterns, develop new habits and actively work to improve the areas that have caused you trouble. Dating May Start Off Great and Then Grind to a Halt Sometimes the easiest part of a relationship is the beginning when your ADHD qualities are often an asset. You may be high-energy, creative, open, honest, engaging, and talkative, and others may be drawn to your charisma, enthusiasm, sensitivity, and likability. The excitement of the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship keeps you interested, too. As the relationship continues, however, difficulties related to your ADHD may soon become more evident and problematic. The intensity and high pace of the relationship may begin to feel a bit suffocating to your partner. Your tendency to react impulsively or in an inattentive, distracted manner may begin to take its toll. Discovering Patterns of Behavior That Sabotage Relationships Over time, you may have discovered a pattern of increasing frustration on both sides of the relationship. You may even have found that the same issues arise again and again. For example, you may discover that your partner is less likely than you are to leap into activities, try new things, or behave spontaneously. You may feel that a "settled" relationship is boring — even with the most exciting partner. While the obvious answer is to walk away and start something new, if you actively want a long-term relationship, you may have to make some changes in your behaviors. The First Step Toward Change Is Awareness The first step in making any kind of change is to notice and acknowledge your own problem behaviors. As you become more aware of how your ADHD symptoms affect your relationships, you can begin to make changes and learn alternative ways to interact that are more productive. Understand that these ways of interacting may not come naturally. You will need to make a conscious effort to make these changes, but doing so can help relationships grow and become more rewarding and fulfilling. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Michael T. Bell. Dealing with the Impact of AD/HD on Marriage. Attention Magazine. April 2003. Michael T. Bell. You, Your Relationship and Your ADD. New Harbinger Publications. 2002. Nancy A. Ratey. The Disorganized Mind. St. Martin’s Press. New York. 2008.