Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me?

Tips for repairing your relationship with your girlfriend

Verywell / Theresa Chiechi

When you’re in love with a person, the signs are hard to miss. You start to experience butterflies at the mention of their name, the thought of spending time together is enough to make your day, and even your brain goes through different chemical changes in response.  

But just as the feelings of love can be clear to see, unrequited love can be an obvious and painful thing to experience.

While you’re in a relationship with a person you love, coming to the realization that they may not share the same feelings can be incredibly hard to deal with.

If you’ve noticed a change in how your girlfriend speaks, relates, or otherwise acts around you, it can be very confusing. In particular, it’s easy to get frustrated when you’re unsure of the reasons behind her changed behavior.

Relationships can be complicated. In this guide, we’ll be looking at changes that can signal your girlfriend’s changing feelings towards you. To help with possibly mending your relationship, we’ll also break down steps you can take to improve the connection with your partner.

Signs That Your Girlfriend Dislikes You

It’s hard to watch when your significant other switches from the person you once shared hopes, dinners, and bad jokes with—to a person that may have turned off all romantic feelings towards you.

There are different ways to determine if your girlfriend hates you. Possible reasons are discussed below.

Her Body Language Seems Off

If you’re questioning your girlfriend’s feelings towards you, your doubts may not be linked to anything she does or says. Instead, the way her body reacts around you could be a dead giveaway of her disinterest in you and the relationship.

Her true feelings may be revealed where she pulls away during attempts to enjoy the bonding benefits of a hug or cuddle at night.

These feelings can also manifest in smaller instances where she rolls her eyes during conversations, pulls away when you attempt to hold hands in public, or otherwise maintains a look of contempt around you.

You Notice You're Spending Less Time Together

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s fairly normal to aspire to spend every waking moment and toilet break with your partner. While this eventually lessens over time, there is a level of distance between you and your partner that can set warning bells ringing.

If your girlfriend is constantly making up excuses for why she can’t meet up, or if her Instagram stories are filled with fun times you weren’t invited to (or even aware of), this could mean that she’s making an active decision to spend time apart from you.

Your Communication Feels Strained

This can play out in different ways. On one hand, you may speak frequently with your girlfriend throughout the day, engaging in surface conversations about the weather, what was had for lunch, and plans for after work. These conversations—regardless of frequency—may start to feel routine, or like a duty shared between two people with history.

On the other hand, communication may become few and far between. For example, each day you might feel uncertain about whether you will hear from your girlfriend or if she will return your call.

There Is Less Physical Intimacy

If sex is no longer on the table in your relationship, or if intimate moments have started to feel distant, this can be a sign that your girlfriend isn’t interested in growing your relationship any further.

However, one partner losing interest in sex shouldn’t always be interpreted as a sign of trouble. It could simply mean that your partner is experiencing stress or other conditions that are affecting their desire for sex. It might also mean that your partner feels as though the quality of sex has declined.

You’re Always Fighting

When your girlfriend always finds a reason to get upset at something you did/didn’t do, if you’re constantly bickering, or if you can’t seem to do anything right in her eyes, this is never a good sign for a relationship.

A relationship that is under constant conflict, no matter the efforts made to fix things, could be a strong signal that your girlfriend holds some resentment for you.

How to Fix Things With Your Girlfriend

There are different reasons why your girlfriend might appear to hate you. Her actions or distance could be in reaction to stress she’s facing at work, or in other areas of her life.

In other cases, your girlfriend’s changed behavior may reveal a struggle to communicate displeasure with something you may have done.

Regardless of the source of your girlfriend’s behavior towards you, there are different approaches that may help improve the connection in the relationship. These tips are listed below.

Do Some Self-Reflection

When attempting to fix things in your relationship, a good place to begin is with yourself. Have you repeatedly ignored her complaints about a matter?

Perhaps your girlfriend misses some of the efforts you put in at the start of your relationship—whatever the case, a little introspection can reveal the reason behind your girlfriend’s annoyance with you, and may provide an easy guide to fixing things.

Speak to Your Girlfriend About the Changes You've Noticed

A problem shared is half-solved, especially when you’re uncertain about the cause of the changes. 

Speaking honestly to your girlfriend about how the shift in her behavior has affected you and the future of your relationship, can be an important step to resolve whatever might be the matter.

This honest conversation will also give room for her to share any grievances she might have towards you and will provide a healthy avenue to work towards fixing the issues at hand. By adopting a policy of honest communication, there is a chance to strengthen your relationship in the long run. 

Attend Counseling Together

To help with navigating the obvious, and not-so-obvious challenges in your relationship, it’s advisable to visit a relationship counselor for expert guidance.

Relationship counseling can help with addressing problems between couples. Even more, this form of therapy is also invaluable for improving communication, interaction, and even intimacy in your relationship. 

Focus on Yourself

While it is admirable to make every effort to improve your relationship, sometimes, knowing when to end a relationship might be the best thing for you and your partner.

If communication, expert guidance, and other measures aren’t enough to improve interactions between you and your girlfriend, it may be time to move on.

In such cases, it is important to prioritize your happiness and welfare to prepare for the next happier, healthier relationship.

A Word From Verywell

Being at odds with someone you love is never enjoyable. Watching your girlfriend switch from affection to obvious dislike at everything you do can cause worry about her feelings, and the future of your relationship. While it is understandable to brood over the changes in your partner’s behavior, honesty and proper communication are trusted ways to improve your relationship. 

If you find that you've tried everything and nothing seems to work, it may be time to move on from the relationship. If you're having a difficult time managing the stress that may arise from your relationship issues, reach out to a mental health professional.

2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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  2. Sumioka H, Nakae A, Kanai R, Ishiguro H. Huggable communication medium decreases cortisol levels. Sci Rep. 2013;3:3034. Published 2013 Oct 23. doi:10.1038/srep03034

By Elizabeth Plumptre
Elizabeth is a freelance health and wellness writer. She helps brands craft factual, yet relatable content that resonates with diverse audiences.