BPD Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Regulation By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University. Learn about our editorial process Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Daniel B. Block, MD on August 14, 2020 twitter linkedin Daniel B. Block, MD, is an award-winning, board-certified psychiatrist who operates a private practice in Pennsylvania. Learn about our Review Board Daniel B. Block, MD on August 14, 2020 Print Claudia Burlotti / Getty Images Table of Contents View All Background Regulation vs. Dysregulation BPD and Emotional Issues How to Manage Emotions Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience intense emotions. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses, 5th edition (DSM-5), the reference manual healthcare providers use to make a diagnosis, many of the symptoms of BPD relate to emotion regulation issues. What Is Emotion Regulation? Emotion regulation is a fairly complex combination of ways in which a person relates to and acts on emotional experiences. This includes the ability to: Behave appropriately when distressedUnderstand and accept emotional experiencesUse healthy strategies to manage uncomfortable emotions People with good emotion regulation skills are able to control the urges to engage in impulsive behaviors, such as self-harm, reckless behavior, or physical aggression during times of emotional stress. Emotion Regulation vs. Dysregulation For example, if someone who does not have BPD goes through a breakup, they likely feel sad and maybe a bit depressed but are still able to control their emotions and carry on with their routine. They'll still attend class or go to work. However, someone with BPD lacks the ability to regulate emotions appropriately. If they go through the same situation, they may become depressed to the point of not functioning, engaging in destructive or violent behaviors, or impulsive activities like promiscuity. BPD and Emotional Issues In the criteria for diagnosing BPD, the majority include issues with emotions. Some of these include the following. Rapid Mood Swings and Irritability People with borderline personality disorder have issues managing moods and expressing emotions, leading to intense anxiety and irritability. Mood swings can be intense as well as rapid. The anxiety and irritability may interfere with normal activities such as working on a job or even caring for yourself. Others may have trouble being around you during these episodes for a number of reasons, thus harming your relationships. Feelings of Emptiness Those with BPD often experience chronic feelings of emptiness. They will engage in all sorts of activities to try and fill the void, without any effect. Regardless of how many friends and loved ones they have, they often feel alone and sad. BPD can, in essence, begin a vicious cycle. Problems regulating emotions can lead to loss of friends. Loneliness, in turn, can worsen the ability to regulate emotions, and the feeling of isolation can interfere with your motivation to learn to regulate your emotions. Difficulty Controlling Anger Along with intense mood swings comes intense anger, seemingly out of nowhere. Slight inconveniences or slights can trigger rages in those with BPD, potentially leading to destructive or violent behaviors. Paranoia and Fear of Abandonment Individuals with BPD often are afraid of being alone or rejected, causing intense paranoia. That can cause them to act obsessively and constantly seek reassurance. Unfortunately, many of the behaviors which result from a need for reassurance can lead people to push someone with BPD further away. With difficulty regulating emotions, if you have BPD, you may experience difficulty coming down from anger or relaxing feelings of rejection. You may lack the ability to regulate your emotions appropriately, causing disruptive behaviors. This can have a negative impact on your relationships, including with your significant other, friends, and family. Managing Emotions Despite BPD While BPD can make emotion regulation difficult, it is not impossible to learn this skill and recover from BPD. If you struggle with BPD and emotions, you may want to consider seeing a therapist specializing in borderline personality disorder who will have a better understanding of the origins that lead to your emotional struggles. Together, you can work on strategies to help regulate your emotions. Types of psychotherapy found to be particularly helpful for people with BPD include cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy. There is a lot to be gained from therapy. You will learn appropriate reactions and skills to manage your mood swings. Over time, your emotion regulation will improve, helping you in your interpersonal relationships and daily life. In addition to therapy, there are several self-help strategies for BPD which can further improve your ability to manage your emotions. A Word From Verywell As noted above, emotion regulation plays a large role in many of the symptoms of BPD, but this does not mean that you will need to live with these symptoms forever. Newer studies are finding that, for those who are motivated, therapy can make a large difference which can, in turn, affect nearly every area of your life in a positive way. With continued therapy with a medical professional, recovery from BPD is possible. The 9 Best Online Therapy Programs We've tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Carpenter, RW, Trull, TJ. Components of emotion dysregulation in borderline personality disorder: A review. Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2013;15(1):335. doi:10.1007/s11920-012-0335-2 Terzi L, Martino F, Berardi D, Bortolotti B, Sasdelli A, Menchetti M. Aggressive behavior and self-harm in Borderline Personality Disorder: The role of impulsivity and emotion dysregulation in a sample of outpatients. Psychiatry Res. 2017;249:321-326. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2017.01.011 Palihawadana V, Broadbear JH, Rao S. Reviewing the clinical significance of 'fear of abandonment' in borderline personality disorder. Australas Psychiatry. 2019;27(1):60-63. doi:10.1177/1039856218810154 Cristea IA, Gentili C, Cotet CD, Palomba D, Barbui C, Cuijpers P. Efficacy of Psychotherapies for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 2017;74(4):319-328. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2016.4287 Kramer U. The Role of Coping Change in Borderline Personality Disorder: A Process-Outcome Analysis on Dialectical-Behaviour Skills Training. Clin Psychol Psychother. 2017;24(2):302-311.doi:10.1002/cpp.2017 Additional Reading Borderline Personality Disorder. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses, 5th edition. American Psychiatric Association, 2013.