How Can I Talk to Myself in a Positive Way?

If you suffer with social anxiety disorder (SAD), you might consider using positive affirmations as a way to improve your self-esteem and reduce anxiety. Below is a list of negative statements along with the positive affirmations that correspond. Find the negative thoughts that you typically have from the list below, and make note of the positive affirmation that is associated.

I can't handle social situations.
I am socially confident.

I am afraid to meet new people.
I meet new people with ease.

I get nervous at parties.
I relax while at parties.

I get anxious in social situations.
I am at ease in social situations.

People think I am socially awkward.
People think I have social confidence.

I have low self-esteem.
I have good self esteem.

I am shy and withdrawn.
I am friendly and outgoing.

I don't like to meet new people.
I like meeting new people.

I am anxious.
I am carefree.

Eye contact is uncomfortable.
Eye contact comes naturally.

I get anxious in crowds.
I feel comfortable while in crowds.

I am anxious around people.
I am comfortable around other people.

I get nervous when introduced to people.
I am calm during introductions to people.

I am afraid to meet new people.
I look forward to meeting new people.

I would rather avoid people.
Contact with people is fun for me.

It is hard to stay in touch with people.
I make contact with others easily.

I don't like being around people.
I like being with people.

People don't like me.
I am liked by other people.

Talking to people is hard.
Talking to people is easy.

I am anxious during conversations.
I am relaxed during conversations.

I don't like making conversation.
Conversation is fun for me.

I am uptight around people.
I am relaxed while around people.

I get worked up around people.
I remain relaxed around people.

I am anxious in social situations.
I am calm in social situations.

I am worked up in social situations.
I am relaxed in social situations.

I am worried when around people.
I am confident when around people.

I feel out of control in social situations.
I stay calm in social situations.

I get worked up in social situations.
I stay relaxed in social situations.

I lose control in social situations.
I stay in control in social situations.

I can't catch my breath when talking to others.
I breathe deeply during conversation.

I breathe too fast when I give a speech.
I breathe slowly when I speak in public.

I feel weak during social situations.
I am strong in social situations.

I am fearful in social situations.
I am courageous in social situations.

I am nervous when speaking in public.
I am a confident public speaker.

I get anxious eating in front of others.
I feel confident eating in front of others.

I get nervous during meals with others.
I relax during meals with others.

My hand shakes when I write in front of others.
I can write easily in front of others.

I get anxious using public restrooms.
I am relaxed using public restrooms.

I am stupid.
I am intelligent.

I am a bad person.
I am a good person.

Nobody likes me.
People like me.

I am worthless.
I have value.

I am a failure.
I can accomplish goals.

I am incompetent.
I am competent.

Research indicates that self-affirmations may help to reduce your sensitivity to threat—which often forms the basis of social anxiety. In addition, higher self-esteem has been shown to predict less anxious responses. 

In this way, using these positive affirmations may have the beneficial effect of both boosting your self-esteem (and reducing anxiety) as well as making situations seem less threatening, all of which will help to reduce your social anxiety. 

_Sources:

_{Crowell A, Page-Gould E, Schmeichel BJ. Self-affirmation breaks the link between the behavioral inhibition system and the threat-potentiated startle response. Emotion. 2015;15(2):146-50.}

_{Czech SJ, Katz AM, Orsillo SM. The effect of values affirmation on psychological stress. Cogn Behav Ther. 2011;40(4):304-312.}

_{Free Affirmations. Social Anxiety Affirmations. Accessed March 13, 2013.}

_{Public Spark. Social Anxiety: What It Is and How to Overcome It. Accessed March 13, 2013.}

_{Social Phobia World. Positive Affirmations. Accessed March 13, 2013.}