10 Ways to Enjoy Valentine's Day Solo

Alone on valentine's day

Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight

Being alone on Valentine's Day may leave you feeling left out. It's easy to let the media and advertisements make you feel like something is missing if you are not in a relationship on this particular day.

There are many reasons why you may find yourself alone on Valentine's day. Maybe you've chosen to be single or are not interested in a relationship.

It's also possible that you're single for reasons outside of your control. As a result of living in a pandemic, it has become a bit more difficult for singles to connect as they normally would. Or, maybe you're dealing with social anxiety disorder (SAD) and experience some fear in pursuing a romantic relationship.

Whatever the reason, as Valentine's Day approaches, you might be feeling feel like you're the only one person in the world without a partner.

The best way to manage feelings of loneliness on this day involve shifting your focus and aiming to be happy with what you already have and spending some time with yourself.

Ignore Valentine's Day

There is no rule that you need to celebrate or even acknowledge Valentine's Day. Don't let social media, store displays, or stories of others make you feel bad about your relationship status.

February 14th is just one day of the year and there is no reason why you can't treat it as though it's just another day.

Be Kind to Yourself

If you'd prefer not to ignore Valentine's Day, you can decide to make it a day to treat yourself well. Try some of the following self-care strategies:

  • Eat your favorite foods 
  • Create a list of goals or intentions that you'd like to set for the day
  • Engage in hobbies that you enjoy
  • Sleep in late 
  • Take the day off work 
  • Write in a gratitude journal

If You Deal With Social Anxiety Disorder

A study published in 2012 in the journal Anxiety, Stress, and Coping showed that people with SAD are less likely to show themselves self-compassion. This means that it's extra important for you to take the time to slow down and be aware of how you are treating yourself. Make time for yourself and show yourself some much-deserved love and kindness.

Be Your Own Secret Admirer

On Valentine's Day, you might start scrolling through social media and see all of the flowers and chocolates your coworkers, friends and loved ones have received. Have you ever wondered if they might have sent them to themselves?

If you are feeling really down about being alone on Valentine's Day, go ahead and send yourself some flowers or your favorite candy to your place of work or your home.

This gift will be special because you received it from someone who knows you best—you!

Avoid Love Triggers

Avoid watching romantic movies and listening to love songs because they may trigger even more feelings of loneliness on Valentine's Day.

If a relationship of yours has recently ended or you deal with social anxiety disorder, these types of activities are sure to elicit sadness and feelings of depression about being alone during this holiday.

Try watching a new show or a different genre as Valentine's Day approaches instead.

Make Other Plans

Plan a day revolving around a recreational activity or hobby unrelated to Valentine's Day. For example you might:

  • Go for a hike
  • Schedule some time to take a long, relaxing bubble bath
  • Order your a meal from your favorite restaurant
  • Play your favorite video game
  • Try a new virtual workout

Having plans to do something concrete will help to take your mind off the fact that you are single. This will give you time to shift your attention to yourself and relish in your alone time.

Plus, if you choose something memorable, then each year you will have something to celebrate on that date that extends beyond Valentine's Day.

Plan a Zoom Date With Single Friends

If you have single friends, plan a night for a Zoom date with them! Being in the company of others in the same situation will help to ease your loneliness.

Be sure to keep the night upbeat. Activities that the group could do might include the following:

  • Play online games as a group
  • Watch a movie together
  • Cook the same meal or prepare the same cocktails together over Zoom

In addition to feeling less lonely, spending some quality time with your friends will keep your social skills strong and will provide you with feelings of love on this day.

Reach Out to Someone

Take the opportunity to reach out to someone whom you haven't spoken to in a while. That person might be any of the following:

  • a family member
  • a friend
  • a potential romantic interest

You never know who might also be feeling lonely on Valentine's Day and will welcome the chance to catch up and connect.

Brighten Someone Else's Day

Do you know someone who has recently lost a significant other? A small gift on Valentine's Day would mean a lot and would make you feel good as well.

Gift ideas might include the following:

  • Gift basket with tea, coffee, or other goodies
  • A promise of time spent together (e.g., set a date for the two of you to hop on a Zoom call)
  • Flowers
  • Homemade cookies or other treats

Keep Up Your Daily Routine

One of the best ways to deal with being alone on Valentine's Day is to go about your daily routine:

  • Clean the house
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Exercise
  • Walk your dog
  • Prepare meals
  • Get some work done

Do whatever you would normally do that day of the week; this will help to make it seem like just another day of the year.

Play Cupid

Most people have never received a gift from a secret admirer. Consider anonymously sending a gift to someone in the same position as you.

This doesn't need to be someone you have romantic interest in—simply someone whom you want to see smile.

Include a note saying that you wanted to 'pay it forward this Valentine's Day.' Gift ideas could include such things as the following:

  • Books (with a special bookmark enclosed)
  • Calendars
  • Chocolates or candy
  • Flowers
  • Gift cards
  • Gourmet food baskets
  • Homemade gifts

A Word From Verywell

Valentine's Day can be a wonderful time if you are in a relationship, but difficult if you find yourself alone. If you're struggling with severe feelings of loneliness, it might be a good idea to reach out to a therapist. They can help you develop some healthy coping mechanisms.

If you are spending this holiday alone, try to remind yourself of how wonderful you are and show yourself some compassion and love on Valentine's Day.

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Article Sources
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  1. Werner KH, Jazaieri H, Goldin PR, Ziv M, Heimberg RG, Gross JJ. Self-compassion and social anxiety disorderAnxiety Stress Coping. 2012;25(5):543-558.

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