Social Anxiety Disorder Coping Negative Thoughts: How to Stop Them By Arlin Cuncic Arlin Cuncic Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety." Learn about our editorial process Updated on February 13, 2023 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief Fact checked Verywell Mind content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article. Content is fact checked after it has been edited and before publication. Learn more. by Karen Cilli Fact checked by Karen Cilli Karen Cilli is a fact-checker for Verywell Mind. She has an extensive background in research, with 33 years of experience as a reference librarian and educator. Learn about our editorial process Print Verywell / Laura Porter Negative thoughts can contribute to problems such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now (and the problems that result), then use strategies to change these thoughts or make them have less of an effect. "Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all linked, so our thoughts impact how we feel and act. So, although we all have unhelpful thoughts from time to time, it’s important to know what to do when they appear so we don’t let them change the course of our day," explains Rachel Goldman, PhD, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine. Therapy can often be helpful for changing negative thoughts, but you can also learn how to change your thought patterns. This article discusses some of the steps you can take to change your negative thoughts. Some of the ways that you can get rid of negative thoughts include: Using mindfulness to build self-awarenessIdentifying negative thoughts Replacing negative thoughts with more realistic, positive onesPracticing acceptance rather than trying to avoid or deny negative thoughtsLearning to cope with feedback and criticismUsing a diary to track your thoughts Combat Negative Thoughts With Mindfulness Mindfulness has its roots in meditation. It is the practice of detaching yourself from your thoughts and emotions and viewing them as an outside observer. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more conscious of your thoughts and build greater self-awareness. Mindfulness sets out to change your relationship to your thoughts. Try viewing your thoughts and feelings as objects floating past you that you can stop and observe or let pass you by. Rachel Goldman, PhD Become aware of how your thoughts are impacting your emotions and behaviors. Observe your thoughts. Ask yourself if this thought is helpful? What purpose is the thought serving you? How does the thought make you feel? — Rachel Goldman, PhD The objective of mindfulness is to gain control of your emotional reactions to situations by allowing the thinking part of your brain to take over. It's been theorized that the practice of mindfulness may facilitate the ability to use thoughts more adaptively. One study found that people who engaged in a mindfulness practice experienced fewer negative thoughts after exposure to negative imagery, suggesting that mindfulness may lessen the impact of negative thinking. Mindfulness Meditation for Anxiety Identify Your Negative Thoughts As you observe your thoughts, work on identifying and labeling cognitive distortions and negativity. For example, if you tend to view yourself as a complete success or failure in every situation, then you are engaging in "black-and-white" thinking. Other negative thinking patterns include: Jumping to conclusions: This distortion involves making assumptions about what others are thinking or making negative assumptions about how events will turn out. Catastrophizing: This pattern of negative thinking is characterized by always assuming that the worst possible outcome will happen without considering more likely and realistic possibilities. Overgeneralization: This pattern is marked by a tendency to apply what happened in one experience to all future experiences. This can make negative experiences seem unavoidable and contribute to feelings of anxiety. Labeling: When people label themselves in a negative way, it affects how they feel about themselves in different contexts. Someone who labels themselves as "bad at math," for example, will often feel negative about activities that involve that skill. "Should" statements: Thinking marked by "should" statements contribute to a negative perspective by only thinking in terms of what you "ought" to be doing. Such statements are often unrealistic and cause people to feel defeated and pessimistic about their ability to succeed. Emotional reasoning: This involves assuming that something is true based on your emotional response to it. For example, if you are feeling nervous, emotional reasoning would lead you to conclude that you must be in danger. This can escalate negative feelings and increase anxiety. Personalization and blame: This thought pattern involves taking things personally, even when they are not personal. It often leads people to blame themselves for things they have no control over. Unhelpful thinking patterns differ in subtle ways. But they all involve distortions of reality and irrational ways of looking at situations and people. Goldman suggests that this step is all about identifying and labeling negative thoughts. "Now that you have observed the thought, you can identify it as an unhelpful thought (perhaps we've even identified it as an all-or-nothing thought, or another type of cognitive distortion). Just observe it and label it," she suggests. She also suggests pausing to accept the thought for what it is. Remind yourself that it's just a thought and not a fact. Recap There are many different types of cognitive distortions that contribute to negative thinking. Learning more about these distortions and remembering that thoughts are not facts may help lessen the power of these negative thinking patterns. Thought Patterns to Avoid If You Have SAD Replace Negative Thoughts One of the basic parts of a treatment plan involving cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is cognitive restructuring. This process helps you to identify and change negative thoughts into more helpful and adaptive responses. Whether done in therapy or on your own, cognitive restructuring involves a step-by-step process whereby negative thoughts are identified, evaluated for accuracy, and then replaced. Goldman suggests examining the evidence that either supports or contradicts the thought. Doing this can help you challenge negative thinking and explore alternatives that are more helpful and realistic. Although it is difficult to think with this new style at first, over time and with practice, positive and rational thoughts will come more naturally. Cognitive restructuring can help you challenge your thoughts by taking you through steps including: Asking yourself if the thought is realistic.Think of what happened in the past in similar situations and evaluate if your thoughts are on course with what took place.Actively challenge the thought and look for alternative explanations.Think of what you'd gain versus what you'd lose by continuing to believe the thought.Recognize if your thought is actually a result of a cognitive distortion, such as catastrophizing.Consider what you'd tell a friend having the same thought. Johns Hopkins Medicine suggests trying to focus on the positive to help combat the negative thought patterns associated with depression. Ask yourself, is there any good to come out of your current situation? However, Goldman recommends not replacing negative thoughts with overly positive ones. If the replacement thoughts are not realistic, they won't be helpful. Rachel Goldman, PhD You don't want to set yourself up for failure by replacing the thought with something that may not be realistic. A helpful technique could be to ask yourself what would you say to a friend in this situation. — Rachel Goldman, PhD Goldman suggests that if you find yourself thinking thoughts like "I am a failure"/"I am going to fail," you shouldn't replace it with something like "I know I am going to succeed." "You instead would want to replace it with something more neutral, which is also showing some self-compassion, like 'I don't know if I am going to be able to do it, but I am trying my best,'" she suggests. One study found that a single cognitive restructuring intervention helped people reduce negative thoughts and biases that play a role in contributing to anxiety. Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares an effective way to help you curb negative thinking. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Avoid Thought Stopping Thought stopping is the opposite of mindfulness. It is the act of being on the lookout for negative thoughts and insisting that they be eliminated. The problem with thought stopping is that the more you try to stop your negative thoughts, the more they will surface. This is known as thought rebounding. Mindfulness is preferable because it gives less weight to your thoughts and reduces the impact they have on you. Experts believe that the thought rebounding that takes place after trying to stop negative thoughts is much more damaging. Instead, psychologists generally recommend finding ways to deal with the negative thoughts more directly. Thought stopping might seem to help in the short term, but over time, it leads to more anxiety. Practice Coping With Criticism In addition to cognitive restructuring, another aspect of CBT that is sometimes helpful for those with social anxiety involves something known as the "assertive defense of the self." Since it is possible that some of the time, people will actually be critical and judgmental toward you, it is important that you are able to cope with rejection and criticism. This process is usually conducted in therapy with a pretend conversation between you and your therapist to build up your assertiveness skills and assertive responses to criticism. These skills are then transferred to the real world through homework assignments. For example, if faced with criticism in real life, having a set of assertive responses prepared will help you deal with these potentially anxiety-provoking situations. What's more, real-life encounters are welcome as a chance to put into practice this exercise, according to this method. Some research suggests that facing potential "social mishaps" that contribute to anxiety and negative thinking can also be helpful. The goal of improving your ability to handle criticism and rejection is to help increase your tolerance of the distress these things may cause, which may combat your automatic negative thoughts. Use a Diary to Track Negative Thoughts Thought diaries, also called thought records, can be used as part of any process to change negative thinking. Thought diaries help you identify negative thinking styles and gain a better understanding of how your thoughts (and not the situations you are in) cause your emotional reactions. Most CBT treatment plans will involve the use of a thought diary as part of regular homework assignments. For example, a thought diary entry might break down the thought process of a person on a date, and the emotional and physical reactions that result from negative thinking patterns. By the end of the thought analysis, you can replace irrational thoughts about rejection with more helpful and positive ways of thinking. Understanding Thought Records for Social Anxiety Frequently Asked Questions What are negative thoughts? Negative thought includes negative beliefs you might have about yourself, situations, or others. They can affect your mood and can be present in certain mental health conditions. Examples of negative thoughts include, "I'll never be good enough," "They must think I'm stupid for saying that," "That situation is destined to turn out badly." Why do I have negative thoughts? Negative thoughts are quite common, but there can be many causes that play a role. You may have negative thoughts because we're more influenced by negative than positive, or have a negativity bias. It's also possible that evolutionarily speaking, negative thinking was more conducive to survival. Negative thoughts could occur as a result of cognitive distortions. They can be symptoms of mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. What are negative thoughts called? Negative thoughts are sometimes referred to as cognitive distortions. These are faulty thinking patterns that can lead to negativity and play a role in causing problems such as poor self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. A Word From Verywell If you struggle with negative thought patterns and it's impacting your life, consider talking to a mental health professional. While it can be tough to share the thoughts you have with someone, therapists can assess your negative thinking patterns and help you create a healthier inner dialogue. Goldman likes to remind her clients that the process of changing negative thoughts isn't a quick fix. 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