How to Keep Your Sex Life Healthy in Marriage

Sex does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years go by and you get older, your intimate relationship should get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other's likes, dislikes, habits, and preferences. 

We know that life can get in the way. Chores, kids, finances, and other issues can put a damper on romance. These everyday factors can interfere with both your desire for sex and finding the time to put in the effort. But don't put sex last on the to-do list. There are ways to prioritize sex and keep it exciting.

What You Need for a Healthy Sex Life​​

Building and maintaining a good sex life with your partner requires both of you to put in time and effort. These are the ingredients that can help you keep your intimate relationship satisfying:

  • Productive and meaningful communication
  • Love for each other
  • Physical attraction
  • Willingness to make time for each other
  • Date nights, fun, and playfulness
  • Acceptance of each other's flaws and quirks

There is no reason why you can't have an active and healthy sex life for many, many years. Try the strategies listed below to keep these key ingredients in your marriage.

maintaining intimacy in your marriage
Verywell / Emily Roberts

Keep Your Sex Life Healthy and Strong

There are different ways to keep things fun and exciting in the bedroom. Try any of these techniques to keep sex with your spouse satisfying for both of you.

Good Communication

Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more! Chatting about superficial things can be fun, but remember to go deeper in order to really establish intimacy. Share your innermost thoughts and feelings with one another regularly. Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is one of the things that can make sex great.

Share Desires and Expectations

Talk openly and share your sexual desires. Be open and honest about what you want. You don't want to use this time to be critical of your partner. Just assert what you want in the bedroom and what makes you feel good. 

Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage. If your expectations are not being met by your partner, communicate this tactfully and sensitively. 

Sex in a long-lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.

Make a Plan

When life becomes busy and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Some people may find scheduling undesirable, but it all depends on how you look at it. You can make plans just as exciting as spontaneous sex. Flirting throughout the day or specifying a "sex date" can build anticipation.

Try to set the mood in advance. If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning. Let your partner know you care and are thinking about them throughout the day with notes, e-mails, texts, phone calls, hugs, or other flirtatious gestures.

Initiate More Often

Don't expect your spouse to be the only one in your marriage who is responsible for romance. You both need to take responsibility for having an intimate and successful relationship.

Hold hands and show affection often. Women particularly need to feel loved and connected in order to have the desire for sex. Make time for date nights and other novel activities together and be open to trying new things!

More Tips for Your Married Sex Life​​

Of course, even with careful planning and genuine effort, you might run into occasions when sex with your spouse doesn't meet your expectations. Keep these tips in mind.

  • Being grouchy or ignoring your spouse during the day hurts your chances of having a positive lovemaking experience that evening.
  • Remember that sex is not going to be perfect each time; don't compare your sex life to the portrayals you see in movies or on television.
  • Recognize that abstinence now and then can be beneficial to your relationship. You may find that it builds anticipation and start to lust after one another more. It's about quality before quantity.
  • Take good care of yourself. A healthy sex life intersects with your overall physical, emotional, and mental health.
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Article Sources

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  2. Finley N. Lifestyle Choices Can Augment Female Sexual Well-Being. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2018;12(1):38-41. doi:10.1177/1559827617740823