Stop the Toxic Positivity With Bestselling Author Nora McInerny

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Meet Nora McInerny

Nora McInerny is an author from Minneapolis who freely shares her story of grief and loss. In 2014, she experienced a miscarriage and lost both her husband and her father all within a few weeks.

She made headlines when her husband’s obituary was published. She and her husband had written it together during the final weeks of his cancer battle. It was filled with humor (he presented himself as Spider-Man and the ex-husband of Gwen Stefani). It went on to capture the attention of millions of readers.

Why Nora McInerny Is Mentally Strong

Since then, Nora has gone on to share her story of grief and loss in the books she has written. But she has managed to maintain her sense of humor throughout, and she makes it clear that laughter and pain sometimes go hand-in-hand.

Nora uses her platform to spread awareness on tough subjects like grief and trauma. She gives a realistic view of what it’s like to experience deep emotional pain, and she provides hope to those who are also struggling in life (without promising that every situation has a silver lining).

What You'll Hear on the Show

• The messiness of grief
• How you can experience conflicting emotions at the same time
• How trauma can show up in your life in surprising ways
• The dangers of toxic positivity
• Digital self-harm
• How to change your negative self-talk
• How to honor a loved one’s life
• How to have hope while accepting that life doesn’t always have a happy ending

What You'll Learn About Toxic Positivity and Mental Strength

Nora’s advice about naming your feelings and allowing yourself to experience a wide variety of emotions is wise. It’s something we often work on in the therapy office.

There’s science that backs up why this is good for you. Studies show just naming an uncomfortable emotion can take some of the sting out of it. So simply saying, “I feel anxiety right now,” might help you feel a bit less anxious in the moment.

Identifying feelings that seem conflicting can also help you make more sense of how you’re feeling. For example, you might tell yourself, “I’m happy that I’m starting a new job, but I’m also sad about leaving my co-workers,” or “I’m excited about this new relationship, but at the same time I’m scared it might not work out.”

Quotes From Nora

• "Get your hopes as high as they can that day because you won’t feel like this forever. And also feel as sad you need to on your down days because this is also not forever."
• "I need to tell you the things that I'm thinking about myself so you can tell me the truth."
• "Some things are going to happen to you—beauty and terror. And it is all part of your story. You are not the one bad thing that you did or that happened to you."

More About the Podcast

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Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too.