How to Improve Your Self-Control

Why self-control is important for well-being

Psychology of self control

Verywell / Cindy Chung

Self-control is the ability to regulate and alter your responses in order to avoid undesirable behaviors, increase desirable ones, and achieve long-term goals. Research has shown that possessing self-control can be important for health and well-being.

Common goals such as exercising regularly, eating healthy, not procrastinating, giving up bad habits, and saving money are just a few worthwhile ambitions that people believe require self-control.

What Is Self-Control?

People use a variety of terms for self-control, including discipline, determination, grit, willpower, and fortitude.

Psychologists typically define self-control as:

  • The ability to control behaviors in order to avoid temptations and to achieve goals
  • The ability to delay gratification and resist unwanted behaviors or urges
  • A limited resource that can be depleted

Still, some researchers believe that self-control is partly determined by genetics, with some just born better at it than others.


How important is self-control in your day-to-day life? The 2011 Stress in America survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that 27% of respondents identified a lack of willpower as the primary factor keeping them from reaching their goals. The majority of people surveyed (71%) believed that self-control can be both learned and strengthened.

Researchers have found that people who have better self-control tend to be healthier and happier, both in the short-term and long-term.

In one famous 2005 experiment, students who exhibited greater self-discipline had better grades, higher test scores, and were more likely to be admitted to a competitive academic program. The study also found that when it came to academic success, self-control was a more important factor than IQ scores.

The benefits of self-control are not limited to academic performance. One long-term health study found that high levels of self-control during childhood predicted greater cardiovascular, respiratory, and dental health in adulthood, as well as improved financial status.

Delaying Gratification

The ability to delay gratification, or to wait to get what you want, is an important part of self-control. People are often able to control their behavior by delaying the gratification of their urges. For instance, someone who wants to attend an expensive concert might avoid splurging their money on weekend shopping trips. They want to have fun, but they know that by waiting and saving their money, they can afford the exhilarating concert instead of the everyday mall trip.

Delaying gratification involves putting off short-term desires in favor of long-term rewards. Researchers have found that the ability to delay gratification is important not only for attaining goals but also for well-being and overall success in life.

The Marshmallow Test

The psychologist Walter Mischel conducted a series of famous experiments during the 1960s and 1970s that investigated the importance of delayed gratification. In these experiments, children were offered a choice: They could choose to eat one treat right away (usually a cookie or a marshmallow), or they could wait a brief period of time in order to get two snacks.

At this point, the researcher would leave the child alone in a room with a single treat. Not surprisingly, many of the kids chose to eat the single treat the moment the experimenters left the room. However, some of the kids were able to wait for the second treat.

Researchers found that children who were able to delay gratification in order to receive a greater reward were also more likely to have better academic performance than the kids who gave in to temptation immediately.

The "Hot-and-Cool" System

Based on his research, Mischel proposed what he referred to as a "hot-and-cool" system to explain the ability to delay gratification. The hot system refers to the part of our willpower that is emotional, impulsive, and urges us to act upon our desires. When this system takes over, we may give in to our momentary desires and act rashly without considering the potential long-term effects.

The cool system is the part of our willpower that is rational, thoughtful, and enables us to consider the consequences of our actions in order to resist our impulses. The cool system helps us look for ways to distract us from our urges and find more appropriate ways to deal with our desires.

Ego Depletion

Research has found that self-control is a limited resource. In the long-term, exercising self-control tends to strengthen it. Practicing self-control allows you to improve it over time. However, self-control in the short-term is limited. Focusing all of your self-control on one thing makes it more difficult to exercise your self-control on subsequent tasks throughout your day.

Psychologists refer to this tendency as ego depletion. This happens when people use up their reservoir of willpower on one task, making them unable to muster any self-control to complete the next task.

Health Benefits

Self-control is also important for maintaining healthy behaviors. What you eat for breakfast, how often you work out, and whether you have a consistent sleep schedule are all decisions that can be impacted by your levels of self-control and have the potential to affect your health.

Researchers have found that self-control can have a number of potential influences on health and well-being. One longitudinal study found that adults who had greater self-control in childhood were less likely to have:

  • Substance dependence or addiction to tobacco, alcohol, or cannabis
  • Sexually transmitted infections
  • Elevated inflammation
  • Periodontal disease
  • Airflow obstruction
  • Metabolic abnormalities

While it is clear that self-control is critical for maintaining healthy behaviors, some experts believe that overemphasizing the importance of willpower can be damaging.

The belief that self-control alone can help us reach our goals can lead to people to blame themselves when their health is influenced by factors beyond their control. It may also lead to feelings of learned helplessness where people feel that they cannot do anything to change a situation. As a result, people may give up quickly or simply stop trying in the face of obstacles.

Motivation and Monitoring

According to psychologist and researcher Roy Baumeister, lack of willpower is not the only factor that affects goal attainment. If you are working toward a goal, three critical components must be present:

  • There needs to be a clear goal and the motivation to change. Having an unclear or overly general goal (such as getting stronger) and insufficient motivation can lead to failure. You are more likely to achieve a clearly defined goal (like bench-pressing 150 pounds) with a specific motivation.
  • You need to track your actions toward the achievement of the goal. Simply setting the goal is not enough. You need to monitor your behavior each day to ensure that you are doing the things that need to be done in order to reach your goal.
  • You need to have willpower. Being able to control your behavior is a critical part of achieving any goal. Fortunately, research suggests that there are steps people can take in order to make the most of their available willpower.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies to motivate yourself to get healthy, featuring fitness trainer Jillian Michaels.

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / RSS


While research suggests self-control has its limitations, psychologists have also found that it can be strengthened with certain strategies.

Avoid Temptation

This is an effective way of making the most of your available self-control. Avoiding temptation ensures that you do not "use up" your available self-control before it is really needed.

Whether it's the desire to eat, drink, spend, or indulge in some other undesired behavior, one way to avoid temptation is to find a healthy distraction.

Go for a walk, call a friend, throw in a load of laundry, or do whatever it takes to get your mind off the thing that is tempting you at the moment.

Plan Ahead

Consider possible situations that might break your resolve. If you are faced with temptation, what actions will you take to avoid giving in? Research has found that planning ahead can improve willpower even in situations where people have experienced the effects of ego depletion.

For example, if you are trying to reduce your sugar intake and you have a hard time controlling those late afternoon snack attacks, eat a well-balanced lunch packed with plenty of fiber, protein, and whole grains that will keep you full longer.

Practice Using Self-Control

While your control might become depleted in the short-term, regularly engaging in behaviors that require you to exert self-control will improve your willpower over time. Think of self-control as a muscle. While hard work may exhaust the muscle in the short-term, the muscle will grow stronger over time as you continue to work it.

The classic games "red light, green light" or "freeze dance" can help children practice self-control from an early age.

Focus on One Goal at a Time

Setting a lot of goals at once (such as making a list of New Year's resolutions) is usually an ineffective approach. Depleting your willpower in one area can reduce self-control in other areas. It is best to choose one specific goal and focus your energy on it.

Once you turn the behaviors needed to reach a goal into habits, you will not need to devote as much effort toward maintaining them. You can then use your resources to achieve other goals.


Meditation is a great way to strengthen your self-control muscle. If you're new to meditation, mindfulness meditation is a great place to start learning how to be more self-aware so you can better resist temptations. This technique can also help you learn to slow your thoughts, which can help you control any gut impulses getting in the way of your self-control.

Remind Yourself of the Consequences

Just like self-control can help you achieve your goals and improve your physical and mental health, a lack of self-control can have adverse effects to your self-esteem, education, career, finances, relationships, and overall health and well-being. Reminding yourself of these consequences can help you stay motivated as you work to control your self-control.

A Word From Verywell

Self-control is an important skill that allows us to regulate behavior in order to achieve our long-term goals. Research has shown that self-control is vital for goal attainment. While self-control is a limited resource, research also suggests that there are things that you can do to improve and strengthen your willpower over time.

Was this page helpful?
Article Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Moffitt TE, Arseneault L, Belsky D, et al. A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2011;108(7):2693-8. doi:10.1073/pnas.1010076108

  2. Duckworth A, Grant H, Loew B, Oettingen G, Gollwitzer P. Self‐regulation strategies improve self‐discipline in adolescents: Benefits of mental contrasting and implementation intentionsEduc Psychol (Lond). 2011;31(1):17-26. doi:10.1080/01443410.2010.506003

  3. Willems YE, Boesen N, Li J, Finkenauer C, Bartels M. The heritability of self-control: a meta-analysis. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2019;100:324-334. doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2019.02.012

  4. American Psychological Association. Stress in America: Our Health at Risk. Published January 11, 2012.

  5. Hofmann W, Luhmann M, Fisher RR, Vohs KD, Vaumeister RF. Yes, but are they happy? Effects of trait self-control on affective well-being and life satisfaction. J Person. 2014;82(4):265-277. doi:10.1111/jopy.12050

  6. Duckworth AL, Seligman MEP. Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting academic performance of adolescents. Psychol Sci. 2005;16(12):939-44. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2005.01641.x

  7. Mischel W. The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Co; 2014.

  8. Metcalfe J, Mischel W. A hot/cool-system analysis of delay of gratification: dynamics of willpowerPsychol Review. 1999;106(1):3–19. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.106.1.3

  9. Hagger MS, Wood C, Stiff C, Chatzisarantis NL. Ego depletion and the strength model of self-control: a meta-analysis. Psychol Bull. 2010;136(4):495-525. doi:10.1037/a0019486

  10. Zhang Y, Feng B, Geng W, et al. “Overconfidence” versus “helplessness”: a qualitative study on abstinence self-efficacy of drug users in a male compulsory drug detention center in China. Subst Abuse Treat Prev Policy. 2016;11:29. doi:10.1186/s13011-016-0073-2

  11. American Psychological Association. What you need to know about willpower: The psychological science of self-control. Published 2012.

  12. Friese M, Messner C, Schaffner Y. Mindfulness meditation counteracts self-control depletion. Conscious Cogn. 2012;21(2):1016-22. doi:10.1016/j.concog.2012.01.008

Additional Reading
  • Baumeister R, Tierney J. Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. New York: Penguin Press; 2011.