Mental Strength How to Change the Story You Tell Yourself With Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Learn about our editorial process Updated on April 06, 2021 Print Verywell / Julie Bang Every Monday on The Verywell Mind Podcast, Editor-in-Chief Amy Morin, LCSW, interviews authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and other inspirational people about the strategies that help them think, feel, and do their best in life. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Meet Lori Gottlieb Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes a weekly column for The Atlantic called “Dear Therapist,” and contributes regularly to many other publications. Lori also hosts the "Dear Therapists" podcast, in which she and fellow therapist, Guy Winch, provide on-air guidance to people who share their struggles. Then, they follow up with the listener to learn what happened when they followed the advice. Why Lori Gottlieb Is Mentally Strong While psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb does share her wisdom in the traditional sense, she also goes a step further. She shares her personal experiences from the other side of the couch—as a therapy client. In her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Lori writes about what prompted her to begin seeing a therapist. She gives us a bird’s eye view of her treatment and what she learned about herself in the process. She also chronicles the lives of several patients whom she treats. She shows that everyone, including experts, could benefit from having someone to talk to. What You'll Hear on the Show How Lori found the courage to share her personal struggles in her bookSome of the biggest misconceptions people have about therapyHow talking to a therapist is different from talking to a friendThe difference between pain and sufferingWhy you don’t necessarily need to talk about your childhood excessively in therapyHow to make your emotional health a bigger priority in your lifeHow to recognize when it might be a good idea to talk to a therapistThe major differences Lori sees between what men and women tell her in therapyHow to change the conversations you have with yourself and how that can help you in lifeHow to begin recognizing the inaccuracies in the way you see yourself What You'll Learn About Changing Your Story and Mental Strength Changing the narrative in your head is a key factor in building mental strength. Take a step back every once in a while and notice what habits might not be serving you well. What do you reach for when you’re stressed out, anxious, or sad? Habits like eating too much, drinking too much, or spending too much might make you feel good for a minute while also causing bigger problems in the long-term. If you discover you’re doing some unhealthy things, don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself. Look for healthier strategies to help you move through painful emotions so you can heal. Quotes from Lori Gottlieb Lori Gottlieb Sometimes we are the cause of our own difficulties. And when we can finally see that, we can make changes. — Lori Gottlieb "Self-compassion breeds compassion for others. So it's a win-win for everybody.""Sometimes people have this misconception that they have to be really struggling in a very overt way to make that call a therapist. But we don't do that with our physical health.""You can't get through life without experiencing pain, but you don't have to suffer so much." More About the Podcast The Verywell Mind Podcast is available across all streaming platforms. If you like the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too. Links and Resources Visit Lori's website Buy Lori's book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Watch Lori's TED talk titled "How Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life" Listen to Lori's podcast "Dear Therapists" Follow Lori on Instagram Get more information on what it's like to see a therapist By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Speak to a Therapist Online Advertiser Disclosure × The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation.