7 Reasons You Might Let People Mistreat You

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Verywell / Julie Bang

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Every Friday on The Verywell Mind Podcast, Editor-in-Chief Amy Morin, LCSW, shares the “Friday Fix”—a short episode featuring a quick, actionable tip or exercise to help you manage a specific mental health issue or concern.

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Friday Fix: Episode 190

Have you ever allowed someone to put you down? Have you tolerated broken promises over and over again? Have you put up with someone who treats you poorly?

If so, you’re not alone. We all have likely let someone mistreat us at one time or another.

That’s not to say you always need to address mistreatment. If someone cuts in front of you in line, you might decide just to let it go.

But repeated mistreatment from a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance can be a problem. 

Some mistreatment might involve outright disrespect. At other times, mistreatment might be more subtle like snarky backhanded compliments or gaslighting.

While you can’t control how other people behave, you can control how you respond to them.

If you’ve allowed someone to treat you poorly and didn’t address their behavior, it’s important to consider why.

It may have to do with the other person—like you fear what would happen if you spoke up. Or, it may have more to do with you—like you fear what would happen to you if the other person stopped being in your life.

Once you understand why you allow mistreatment to happen, you can take helpful action.

In this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I explain the top seven reasons why you might allow someone to mistreat you. I also share how you can take steps to move forward in a healthy way if someone treats you poorly.

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Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript does not go through our standard editorial process and may contain inaccuracies and grammatical errors. Thank you.

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By Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief
Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.