10 Signs You May Be a Perfectionist

A perfectionist is someone who has a personality that strives for flawlessness. This is often accomplished through fixating on imperfections, trying to control situations, working hard, or being critical of the self or others.

If you’re wondering whether or not you’re a perfectionist, there’s a good chance you are, at least to a degree. There's also a good chance you have some investment in the identity of being a perfectionist because of the positive connotations of the word "perfect."

This article discusses what constitutes perfectionism and why it's can sometimes have a negative impact on your life. It also offers tips to help you decide how much you want to work at moderating some of these traits and learn strategies to accomplish your goal.

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Pitfalls of Being a Perfectionist

The problem with perfectionism—and the reason you'll want to know if you possess any perfectionistic traits—is that perfectionists actually tend to achieve less and stress more than regular high achievers.

Unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by an excessive focus on control. People may become extremely picky and preoccupied with making sure that everything is flawless, which can lead to attempts to control situations or people. This can contribute to stress and take take a toll on interpersonal relationships.

The stress caused by this level of perfectionism can lead to feelings of anxiety and has been linked to outcomes such as low self-esteem, eating disorders, sleep disturbances, and psychological distress.

10 Perfectionist Traits

Perfectionists are a lot like high achievers, but with some key differences. The following are ten telltale traits of perfectionists, that you may be able to spot in yourself or in the people you know. Do any of these sound familiar?

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionists, like high achievers, tend to set high goals and work hard toward them. However, a high achiever can be satisfied with doing a great job and achieving excellence (or something close), even if their very high goals aren’t completely met. Perfectionists will accept nothing less than perfection. "Almost perfect" is seen as failure.

Being Highly Critical

Perfectionists are more critical of themselves and others than high achievers. While high achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, perfectionists tend to spot mistakes and imperfections. They hone in on imperfections and have trouble seeing anything else. They’re more judgmental and hard on themselves and on others when "failure" does occur.

Feeling Pushed by Fear

High achievers tend to be pulled toward their goals and by a desire to achieve them. They are happy with any steps made in the right direction. Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to be pushed toward their goals by a fear of not reaching them and see anything less than a perfectly met goal as a failure.

Having Unrealistic Standards

Unfortunately, a perfectionist’s goals aren’t always even reasonable. While high achievers can set their goals high, perhaps enjoying the fun of going a little further once goals are reached, perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach.

Focusing Only on Results

High achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned about meeting the goal and avoiding the dreaded failure that they can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving.

Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals

Perfectionists are much less happy and easygoing than high achievers. While high achievers are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up much more and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet.

Fear of Failure

Perfectionists are also much more afraid to fail than are high achievers. Because they place so much stock in results and become so disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure becomes a very scary prospect. And, since anything less than perfection is seen as a failure, it makes it difficult to get started on anything new.

Procrastination

It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination, as that trait can be detrimental to productivity, but perfectionism and procrastination do tend to go hand in hand. This is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all.

Defensiveness

Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they tend to take constructive criticism defensively. This makes them different from high achievers who can see criticism as valuable information to help their future performance.

Low Self-Esteem

High achievers tend to have equally high esteem; not so with perfectionists. Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and unhappy and suffer from low self-esteem. They can also be lonely or isolated as their critical nature and rigidity can push others away as well. This can lead to lower self-esteem.

Summary

Healthy perfectionism can drive people to perform their best, but unhealthy perfectionism can lead to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other problems that can affect your quality of life. Perfectionists are often critical, driven by fear, have unrealistic expectations, fear failure, and are defensive when they face any criticism.

A Word From Verywell

If you see some of these perfectionist traits in yourself, don’t despair. Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step. Once you recognize how these tendencies might be affecting you negatively, you can begin working toward taking a healthier approach that will still allow you to achieve your goals with less stress and negativity.