Signs Your Spouse Could Be Cheating

Problems in the relationship
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Infidelity is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect it because of actions that are out of the norm.

While everyone is different, and few signs of cheating are definitive, there are certain behaviors that, together, may back up your unfortunate hunch.

Possible Signs of Infidelity

Behavior changes, curious actions, and odd occurrences can certainly indicate that a partner is having an affair. That said, it's important to remember that that is not always the case.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, it is understandable to want a definitive way to prove your suspicion. While things like stepping outside to talk on the phone could be related to infidelity, there may be other explanations.

Consider the following possible signs that your partner is not being faithful. As you can see, some of these signs actually are at odds with one another. This range of possibilities, which is certainly not inclusive of everything, shows just how different signs can be from one person to the next.

Changes in Your Sex Life

It is not uncommon for there to be fluctuations in the frequency of sex in your marriage. But these signs may indicate the possibility of an affair.

  • There is considerably less intimacy or connection in your relationship.
  • Your sex life is practically non-existent.
  • There are lots of new things introduced in sex that were never before.
  • You learn that you have an STD and you have not strayed.

Sudden Change in Habits

Your partner may change their habits for a variety of reasons. And healthy habit changes are usually a positive thing. But certain habit changes may be cause for concern

  • The words "I love you" are not spoken by your spouse any longer.
  • You can't even get your mate to fight with you.
  • You can't get your spouse to communicate with you (stonewalling).
  • Your spouse is suddenly more attentive than usual.
  • Your spouse seems to want danger or thrills in their life.
  • Your spouse is dressing nicer, looking nicer, or there is a sudden interest in appearance.
  • Your spouse picks up a new hobby that requires a few hours of commitment per day. When you show interest in their new hobby, their answer seems vague or they brush you off.
  • Your mate is working longer and longer hours at work.
  • Your spouse's wandering eye seems out of control.

Attitude Changes

Your spouse may experience work stress or problems with other relationships that can lead to changes in attitude. When you see these signs consider other causes, as well as the potential for infidelity.

  • Your spouse exhibits signs of low self-esteem.
  • You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about him or herself.
  • Your spouse is more negative than before.
  • Your spouse becomes more critical of you.
  • Your spouse seems to be picking fights more often.
  • Your spouse gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.
  • When you ask for reassurance about cheating, you do not feel satisfied with the response.

Lying and Avoidance

Dishonesty in a marriage is a red flag. These avoidance strategies may indicate that your spouse may be cheating.

  • You feel as if you are being avoided.
  • They don't want to go anywhere or do anything with you anymore.
  • You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of things.
  • Your spouse seems more secretive.
  • Your partner abandons religious faith.


When your spouse shows apathy or lack of interest in things that they used to love, communicate with them to see if there is another reason for the change in engagement. But if you also suspect infidelity these changes may be further indication of an affair.

  • Your spouse seems bored with you, a job, your children, hobbies, or even life in general.
  • Your spouse has become lazy, especially around the house.
  • Your spouse doesn't show any jealousy about you, no matter what you say.
  • Your spouse is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays.

Money Issues

Almost all marriages undergo some kind of financial stress at one time or another. But you may want to investigate certain money issues when you notice them in your marriage.

  • You notice charges on credit card statements that don't make sense.
  • Money becomes more of an issue between the two of you.
  • Your spouse stops planning for large purchases (such as a trip, buying a house, starting a renovation, etc.)

A Change in Technology Use

Infidelity is often revealed online, in text messages, or phone messages. These tech changes may warrant concern.

  • You notice cloud sharing has suddenly been switched off on your devices.
  • Your spouse stops using shared devices altogether.
  • Your spouse reduces their use of social media.
  • Your partner clears the browser history on the home computer.
  • Your spouse's fitness tracker shows exercise at odd times and hours.

Again, what may be a warning sign in one relationship may be nothing to be concerned about in another relationship. In fact, most signs of infidelity are quite subtle. It is only when the lies and stories stop adding up that the cheating usually comes to light.

How to Deal With a Lying Spouse

In most cases, even when you confront your partner with accusations of cheating, it will be denied. Unless you have hard evidence or irrefutable proof, many will not admit to infidelity.

There are a few ways that you can tell if your spouse is lying. If you keep getting denial and push-back when trying to discuss your concerns with your partner, you may need to get professional help to sort through things.

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