Relationships Spouses & Partners What is Jealousy? By Sarah Sheppard Sarah Sheppard Sarah Sheppard is a writer, editor, ghostwriter, writing instructor, and advocate for mental health, women's issues, and more. Learn about our editorial process Updated on September 12, 2021 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Margaret Seide, MD Medically reviewed by Margaret Seide, MD LinkedIn Margaret Seide, MS, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of depression, addiction, and eating disorders. Learn about our Medical Review Board Fact checked Verywell Mind content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article. Content is fact checked after it has been edited and before publication. Learn more. by Aaron Johnson Fact checked by Aaron Johnson Aaron Johnson is a fact checker and expert on qualitative research design and methodology. Learn about our editorial process Print Bob Thomas/The Image Bank/Getty Table of Contents View All Table of Contents What Is Jealousy? Characteristics Complications Identifying Jealousy Causes Types Treatment Coping What Is Jealousy? Jealousy is a complex emotion. It occurs when there’s a real or perceived threat to an interpersonal relationship. An individual may resent a third person for taking away or appearing to take away the affections of their loved one. Feelings that typically accompany the emotion include resentment, anger, hostility, and bitterness. Everyone experiences jealousy at some point in their lives, but the emotion can become unhealthy and negatively impact your relationships. It can range in intensity. When it’s severe, irrational jealousy can lead to distrust, paranoia, abuse, or even physical violence. Characteristics While it’s typically perceived as a negative emotion, it is natural to experience jealousy in a close relationship. You may feel suspicious jealousy or reactive jealousy. The former is based on perception and is often tied to low self-esteem and insecurity and the latter is based on situations that actually threaten the relationship, and is often tied to actions or situations that lead to or cause the betrayal of trust. Jealousy can lead to other emotions or feelings. Psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD, explains how jealousy can manifest in relationships: Criticizing Fault findingBlamingFeeling distrustBeing overprotective or suspiciousActing obsessive Experiencing a quick temper Verbally abusing The 6 Types of Basic Emotions and Their Effect on Human Behavior Complications In healthy doses, jealousy can serve as a reminder to cherish or prioritize a relationship. High degrees of jealousy, however, can impact the overall quality of a relationship. When you’re experiencing jealousy, it can cause changes to your body. According to Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, the following physical symptoms may occur when jealousy arises: Stomach achesHeadachesChest painHigh blood pressurePalpitation in extreme anxietyWeight gain or lossInsomnia or disturbances in sleepPoor appetiteWeakened immunity Jealousy can occur at any time, especially in situations that feel threatening, but the emotion can also build up over time, too. Identifying Jealousy Jealousy can be difficult to understand and process. Depending on the situation, you may feel embarrassed, threatened, insecure, or abandoned. You may choose to say something to your loved one, notifying them of your feelings, concerns or fears, or you may react more irrationally by yelling, taking away their phone, making demands, placing blame, accusing them of something that didn’t happen, or storming off. Even if a real threat presents itself, jealousy can lead to extreme behaviors, especially if you’re feeling insecure about yourself or the relationship. For your own mental health, you’ll want to find healthy ways to handle your jealousy. Causes Various psychological and socioeconomic factors can contribute to jealousy. Depending on your personality and attachment style, you may be more prone to experiencing the emotion. High levels of interdependence in a relationship may increase your risk of jealousy, for instance. Many situations can make you feel jealous. Some common ones include: A partner spending significant time engaging with someone who feels threatening to the relationshipA new baby joins the family or a parent puts their attention on a sibling instead of youA competitor (such as a sibling or coworker) appears to get ahead You could feel jealous when a loved one spends a lot of their time hanging with a particular friend or talking at length with a coworker in front of you, or you could feel jealous when a partner acknowledges someone else's accomplishments but not yours, or a coworker gets a promotion and you don’t. Types While there are many forms of jealousy, there are two main categories: normal and abnormal jealousy. The six main types, described by Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, are: Rational Jealousy: When there is genuine, reasonable doubt, especially when you love a partner and fear losing them, rational jealousy can occur. Family Jealousy: This typically occurs between family members, such as siblings. When a new baby is born, a sibling may feel jealous as the attention of the parents shifts to the new baby, for example. Pathological Jealousy: This type of jealousy is irrational. Unhealthy feelings may result from an underlying mental health disorder such as anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or schizophrenia. Signs of pathological jealousy can include extreme insecurity, as well as a desire to control and manipulate. Sexual Jealousy: When there is fear that a partner has been unfaithful and has engaged in physical infidelity, you may become suspicious. Romantic Jealousy: This can result from a real or imagined threat to a romantic relationship, resulting in jealous thoughts or reactions. Power Jealousy: This type of jealousy stems from personal insecurity. You may be jealous of someone who has what you want. When a coworker receives a promotion or a reward that you wish to receive, for example, you may become jealous. Studies conducted on heterosexual romantic relationships found that men tend to feel jealous over a third party’s dominance and are more concerned about sexual infidelity, whereas women tend to feel jealous from a third party’s attractiveness and are more concerned about emotional infidelity. How to Handle Jealousy in Marriage Treatment Jealousy is a normal human emotion, but abnormal jealousy can put you or others in danger. If you’re experiencing morbid jealousy, in which your thoughts, emotions, behaviors are irrational, extreme, or obsessive, then you may need treatment. The most common treatment options include: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) Cognitive-analytic therapy (CAT) Antipsychotics Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) Treatment will vary depending on the type of jealousy you’re experiencing and how it’s manifesting. Unaddressed abnormal jealousy can lead to distrust, paranoia, or abuse. If you’re experiencing another underlying mental health condition, such as an anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or schizophrenia, then you’ll want to consult with a mental health professional to discuss tailored treatment options. Coping If you don’t learn to cope with jealousy, it can strain or hurt your relationships. If your jealousy is negatively impacting your mental health or your relationships, you should use Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios’s recommended coping mechanisms: Confront your fears: Jealousy can stem from insecurity or poor self-image, which is why it’s so important to confront your fears. This could include fear of losing your partner or fear of failure. Once you recognize these fears, you can acknowledge and address them, as they are often the underlying cause of the jealousy. Address your expectations: In any relationship, it’s important to develop a realistic expectation on how much time someone can spend with you. If they are unable to meet your expectations, try not to place blame. See if you can work together to set more reasonable expectations. Practice gratitude: Remind yourself about all the beautiful things that life has given you, says Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios. Be open and honest: Healthy relationships rely on strong communications. If jealousy is arising, Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios suggests having an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling. “Try to resolve the misunderstandings with compassion and mutual trust." Practice mindfulness: Negative emotions can affect your physical and mental health. When you’re feeling jealousy or another negative emotion, such as anger or resentment, try practicing mindfulness meditation. To maintain healthy relationships, you’ll want to communicate your feelings, address expectations, and establish a foundation of mutual trust and understanding. If jealousy becomes a problem, then speaking with a mental health professional, such as a therapist can help. A Word From Verywell Learning to identify jealousy is a skill. When you do experience it, try using one of the many coping mechanisms available to you. Understand, though, that jealousy does not excuse manipulation or abuse. If coping mechanisms aren’t working or if the threat becomes disruptive to the relationship (no matter if it’s real or imagined), then you may want to seek counseling to discuss the problem with a mediator. You may find that there’s an underlying problem in the relationship which needs to be addressed. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit 7 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Edlund JE, Sagarin BJ. Sex differences in jealousy. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. 2017;55. doi:10.1016/bs.aesp.2016.10.004 Attridge M. Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (Reactive) and bad (Suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy. SAGE Open. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177%2F2158244013476054 Martínez-León NC, Peña JJ, Salazar H, García A, Sierra JC. A systematic review of romantic jealousy in relationships. Terapia psicológica. 2017;35(2):203-212. doi:10.4067/s0718-48082017000200203 Ritchie LL, van Anders SM. There’s jealousy…and then there’s jealousy: differential effects of jealousy on testosterone. 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