Theories Social Psychology What Is Love? By Kendra Cherry facebook twitter Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author, educational consultant, and speaker focused on helping students learn about psychology. Learn about our editorial process Kendra Cherry Fact checked by Fact checked by Emily Swaim on August 02, 2020 linkedin Emily is a fact checker, editor, and writer who has expertise in psychology content. Learn about our editorial process Emily Swaim Updated on August 02, 2020 Print Petri Oeschger / Getty Images Table of Contents View All What Is Love? How Do You Know? Types How to Practice Impact of Love Tips for Cultivating Potential Pitfalls History What Is Love? Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress. When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon. Love is most likely influenced by both biological drives and cultural influences. While hormones and biology are important, the way we express and experience love is also influenced by our personal conceptions of love. 5 Ways That Theories of Psychology Explain Love How Do You Know? What are some of the signs of love? Researchers have made distinctions between feelings of "liking" and "loving" another person. According to psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements: Attachment: Needing to be with another person and desiring physical contact and approvalCaring: Valuing the other person's happiness and needs as much as your ownIntimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person Based on this view of romantic love, Rubin developed two questionnaires to measure these variables, known as Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving. While people tend to view people they like as pleasant, love is marked by being devoted, possessive, and confiding in one another. The Difference Between Liking and Loving Types of Love Not all forms of love are the same, and psychologists have identified a number of different types of love that people may experience. These types of love include: Friendship: This type of love involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of intimacy.Infatuation: This is a form of love that often involves intense feelings of attraction without a sense of commitment; it often takes place early in a relationship and may deepen into a more lasting love.Passionate love: This type of love is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction; it often involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical closeness.Compassionate/companionate love: This form of love is marked by trust, affection, intimacy, and commitment.Unrequited love: This form of love happens when one person loves another who does not return those feelings. Is Love Biological or Cultural? Some researchers suggest that love is a basic human emotion just like happiness or anger, while others believe that it is a cultural phenomenon that arises partly due to social pressures and expectations. Research has found that romantic love exists in all cultures, which suggests that love has a strong biological component. It is a part of human nature to seek out and find love. However, culture can significantly affect how individuals think about, experience, and display romantic love. How to Practice Love There is no single way to practice love. Every relationship is unique, and each person brings their own history and needs. Some things that you can do to show love to the people you care about include: Be willing to be vulnerableBe willing to forgiveDo your best and be willing to apologize when you make mistakesLet them know that you careListen to what they have to sayPrioritize spending time with the other personReciprocate loving gestures and acts of kindnessRecognize and acknowledge their good qualitiesShare things about yourselfShow affectionShow unconditional love Does Unconditional Love Make Healthy Relationships? Impact of Love Love, attachment, and affection have an important impact on well-being and quality of life. Loving relationships have been linked to: Lower risk of heart diseaseDecreased risk of dying after a heart attackBetter health habitsIncreased longevityLower stress levelsLess depressionLower risk of diabetes Tips for Cultivating Love Lasting relationships are marked by deep levels of trust, commitment, and intimacy. Some things that you can do to help cultivate loving relationships include: Try loving-kindness meditation. Loving-kindness meditation (LKM) is a technique often used to promote self-acceptance and reduce stress, but it has also been shown to promote a variety of positive emotions and improve interpersonal relationships. LKM involves meditating while thinking about a person you love or care about, concentrating on warm feelings and your desire for their well-being and happiness.Communicate. Everyone's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs and your loved one's needs are met is to talk about them. Helping another person feel loved involves communicating that love to them through words and deeds. Some ways to do this include showing that you care, making them feel special, telling them they are loved, and doing things for them.Tackle conflict in a healthy way. Never arguing is not necessarily a sign of a healthy relationship—more often than not, it means that people are avoiding an issue rather than discussing it. Rather than avoid conflict, focus on hashing out issues in ways that are healthy in order to move a relationship forward in a positive way. Potential Pitfalls As Shakespeare said, the course of love never did run smooth. No relationship is perfect, so there will always be problems, conflicts, misunderstandings, and disappointments that can lead to distress or heartbreak. So while love is associated with a host of positive emotions, it can also be accompanied by a number of negative feelings as well. Some of the potential pitfalls of experiencing love include: AnxietyDepressionIncreased stressJealousyObsessivenessPossessivenessSadness While people are bound to experience some negative emotions associated with love, it can become problematic if those negative feelings outweigh the positive or if they start to interfere with either person's ability to function normally. Relationship counseling can be helpful in situations where couples need help coping with miscommunication, stress, or emotional issues. The Best Online Marriage Counseling Programs History of Love Only fairly recently has love become the subject of science. In the past, the study of love was left to "the creative writer to depict for us the necessary conditions for loving," according to Sigmund Freud. "In consequence, it becomes inevitable that science should concern herself with the same materials whose treatment by artists has given enjoyment to mankind for thousands of years," he added. Research on love has grown tremendously since Freud's remarks. But early explorations into the nature and reasons for love drew considerable criticism. During the 1970s, U.S. Senator William Proxmire railed against researchers who were studying love and derided the work as a waste of taxpayer dollars. Despite early resistance, research has revealed the importance of love in both child development and adult health. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Langeslag SJ, van Strien JW. Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility. PLoS One. 2016;11(8):e0161087. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0161087 Karandashev V. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. ORPC. 2015;5(4):1-21. doi:10.9707/2307-0919.1135 Rubin Z. Lovers and Other Strangers: The Development of Intimacy in Encounters and Relationships: Experimental studies of self-disclosure between strangers at bus stops and in airport departure lounges can provide clues about the development of intimate relationships. American Scientist. 1974;62(2):182-190. Wong CW, Kwok CS, Narain A, et al. Marital status and risk of cardiovascular diseases: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Heart. 2018;104(23):1937‐1948. doi:10.1136/heartjnl-2018-313005 Robards J, Evandrou M, Falkingham J, Vlachantoni A. Marital status, health and mortality. Maturitas. 2012;73(4):295‐299. doi:10.1016/j.maturitas.2012.08.007 Teo AR, Choi H, Valenstein M. Social Relationships and Depression: Ten-Year Follow-Up from a Nationally Representative Study. PLoS One. 2013;8(4):e62396. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0062396 Roberson PNE, Fincham F. Is relationship quality linked to diabetes risk and management?: It depends on what you look at. Fam Syst Health. 2018;36(3):315-326. doi:10.1037/fsh0000336 He X, Shi W, Han X, Wang N, Zhang N, Wang X. The interventional effects of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions and interpersonal interactions. Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat. 2015;11:1273‐1277. doi:10.2147/NDT.S79607 Freud S. The Freud Reader. New York: W. W. Norton & Company; 1995. Winston R, Chicot R. The importance of early bonding on the long-term mental health and resilience of children. London J Prim Care (Abingdon). 2016;8(1):12-14. doi:10.1080/17571472.2015.1133012