What Is the Split Attraction Model?

In other words, the split attraction model says that there can be a difference between someone's sexual orientation and their romantic orientation. One study even found that sexual desire and what they refer to as "affectional bonding" can be completely independent of one another.

History of the Split Attraction Model

While this may be the first time you're reading about this concept, it's actually been around for a while.

Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a German gay activist, had written 12 books by 1879 that focused on different kinds of attraction among non-heterosexual identifying people. While a lot of his language wasn't the same as what is used today, the concepts he identified were the same. He broke feelings down into categories he called "tender" and "passionate," and explained that one person can have different feelings for different sexes.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov wrote a book that described "limerence," which Tennov described as a type of attraction that encompasses sexual attraction but focused more on emotional connection. When the term affectional orientation-attraction was coined, it intended to further clarify homophobic and biphobic stereotypes that implied that same gender relationships were mostly about sex.

This is all-important because it shows that the concept of the split attraction model is not a modern creation but has been around for years.

Differences Between Romantic and Sexual Orientations

While these may not immediately jump out to you like different things, there are some key differences that we walk through below. One author even pointed out that while the two are typically strongly associated, they are not the same.

Romantic orientations: This is romantic in a way that is not physical. For example, in the book "Mostly Straight," the author points out that one of the interviewed people is interested in sex with women but romantic connections with men. The Asexual Visibility & Education Network notes (AVEN) that the names of romantic orientations are similar to those of sexual orientations. They describe what gender the person is attracted to in relation to their own.

• Heteroromantic: This means that the person is romantically attracted to people of a different gender.
• Homoromantic: This means that the person is romantically attracted to people of the same or similar gender.
• Biromantic: This means that the person is romantically attracted to people of multiple genders. While its definition is the same as panromantic, some people might prefer identifying with this term because of its long history, while some people identify as both.
• Panromantic: This means that the person is romantically attracted to people of multiple genders. While its definition is the same as biromantic, some people might prefer identifying with this term because of its newness, while some people identify as both.
• Aromantic: This means that the person is not romantically attracted to anyone.

Sexual orientations: For aromantic people, sexual orientations refer to who they are physically attracted to. For people not on the asexual or aromantic spectrums, sexual orientation encompasses who they are romantically and sexually attracted to. For this group, the “sex” in sexuality refers to sex and gender not intercourse.

Why It's Often Associated With People Who Identify as Asexual

The split attraction model is solely for asexual and aromantic people because other people’s identities are conveyed in one word.

Specifying sexual and romantic orientations is sometimes thought of as a distinction that is only made by asexual-identifying people. The Asexual Visibility & Education Network notes that asexuals are not the only ones that experience these differences, they're just more likely to specify since, for other identities, both sexual and romantic orientations are conveyed in the same word.

This same post also notes that the split attraction model can be particularly helpful for people who are aromantic because it can give them a way to easily describe their feelings toward romantic relationships.

Criticism of the Split Attraction Model

Some people, primarily within the LGBTQ+ community, think that the split attraction model focuses too heavily on sexual desire and attraction. Some people believe that this model makes it more confusing for young people trying to figure out where they stand within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

Another criticism is that the SAM model argues that there is no easy way to define attraction and that it can mean different things to different people. This makes it confusing when used as a blanket term.

Additionally, criticisms of the split attraction model are directed at the idea that the SAM applies to everyone. The model can be extremely helpful for people who are asexual or aromantic.

Overall, many people in the LGBTQ+ community believe that there should be a more inclusive term that is less specific in differentiating between romantic and sexual attraction.

A Word From Verywell

It's important not to get caught up in the arguments happening around certain terminology. Instead just focus on the words that help you better understand your own romantic and sexual orientations. If you are interested in speaking with someone who can talk to you more about this model and how it may or may not help describe how you feel, make sure you check out the list of resources above.