Relationships Spouses & Partners What Marital Sex Statistics Can Reveal Who's Doing It and How Often? By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. Learn about our editorial process Sheri Stritof Reviewed by Reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW on March 24, 2020 facebook twitter linkedin instagram Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and the host of the Mentally Strong People podcast. Learn about our Review Board Amy Morin, LCSW on March 24, 2020 Print DreamPictures / Getty Images While it's not usually a good idea to compare your sex life to what sex statistics say about others, it can be interesting to look at how often other couples have sex. For example, sometimes people believe they're having less sex than their peers, but scientific study results might prove them wrong. Other stats can offer insight on married couples' sexual satisfaction and even relationship satisfaction and how it's related to sex. How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? Americans in their 20s (whether partnered or not) have sex about 80 times a year, or more than once per week, says a 2017 study. While that number declines with age, it turns out that there is such a thing as too much sex. While the frequency of sex is associated with happiness, partnered couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those having sex weekly, according to an analysis of three research studies of over 30,000 people. Having sex once a week might be the ideal, according to science. But the real ideal is what works for you and your partner. If you're happy with the frequency of sex in your marriage, then you're having the right amount of sex for you. If you're not, you can work on the problem through better communication, more experimentation in the bedroom, and/or couples or sex therapy. More research looking at this sex frequency-happiness connection noted that pushing frequency past once a week might "lead to a decline in wanting for, and enjoyment of, sex." In other words, quality counts as much as quantity. What's more, one study of heterosexual couples published in 2017 linked husbands' "positive behaviors" toward their wives with the frequency of sex. So if you want more in bed, you might try being more generous and giving outside of the bedroom. How Much Sex Is Enough in a Marriage or Relationship? Married Sex and Satisfaction A survey conducted by Durex (the condom maker) in 2013 looked at some of the ways sex can promote connection and satisfaction in couples. Some results included: 96% of respondents said being emotionally connected results in the best sex92% are turned on by their partner showing vulnerability90% believe it is possible for sex to get better after years of being together61% of women and 80% of men say "the sex is pretty good." (Another 2013 survey, from iVillage, got the same result.) Satisfaction and interpersonal warmth matter more in a marriage than the frequency of intercourse, according to sex researchers. And there is a strong connection between sex, well-being, affection, and positive affect (or mood), according to research published in 2017. Mutual respect is also important; when partners feel respected, they also report being sexually satisfied. In terms of how their sex life could be improved, people say they're looking for more love and romance; more quality time alone with their partner; more fun; and less stress. Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive in Your Marriage Married Sex and Communication Couples also say they could have better communication with their partner. The answer to "what should we do to make our sex life better/have sex more often/make sex more satisfying" often begins with talking. One study, published in 2019, tied better sexual communication with greater sexual satisfaction—and even fewer faked orgasms. "Women who continued to fake orgasms were more likely to indicate embarrassment talking about sex with their partner in explicit ways," the study's authors said. "More than half of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings, not feeling comfortable going into detail, and embarrassment," the study continued. How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner A Word From Verywell Though interesting, what statistics say about other peoples' sex lives is usually not relevant to your own. What matters is how you and partner feel about your relationship and sex life—and how well you can discuss it with each other. Communication is key. Depending on the underlying issues and emotions you and your partner are experiencing, you might benefit from working with a personal therapist, a couple's counselor, or a sex therapist. The Best Online Sex Therapy Programs Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE. Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014. Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1 Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA. Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better. Social Psychological and Personality Science. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462 Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D. Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?. J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021 Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A. Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction. Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4 Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D. More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124 Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA. Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample. Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0