Relationships Spouses & Partners How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? What Statistics About Married Sex Reveal By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. Learn about our editorial process Updated on November 14, 2022 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Amy Morin, LCSW Medically reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. Learn about our Medical Review Board Print DreamPictures / Getty Images Table of Contents View All Table of Contents How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? Married Sex and Satisfaction Married Sex and Communication When You're Out of Sync Frequently Asked Questions Although it's not usually a good idea to compare your sex life to what sex statistics say about others, it can be interesting to look at how often other couples have sex. For example, sometimes people believe they're having less sex than their peers, but scientific study or survey results might prove them wrong. Other stats can offer insight on married couples' sexual satisfaction, as well as relationship satisfaction and how it's related to sex. This article discusses how often married couples have sex. It also covers how sex frequency is related to relationship satisfaction and communication. How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? Americans in their 20s (whether partnered or not) have sex about 80 times a year, or more than once per week, says a 2017 study. Although the frequency of sex is associated with happiness, partnered couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those having sex weekly, according to an analysis of three research studies of more than 30,000 people. Having sex once a week might be the ideal, according to science. But the real ideal is what works for you and your partner. Recap Research suggests that the average adult in their 20s has sex around 80 times a year, but there is no "ideal" amount of sex. What matters is whether you and your partner are happy with the quantity and quality of sex. How Important Are Our Sexual Needs? Married Sex and Satisfaction Satisfaction and interpersonal warmth matter more in a marriage than the frequency of intercourse, according to sex researchers. And there is a strong connection between sex, well-being, affection, and positive affect (or mood), according to research published in 2017. Mutual respect is also important; when partners feel respected, they also report being sexually satisfied. In terms of how their sex life could be improved, people say they're looking for more love and romance, more quality time alone with their partner, more fun, and less stress. How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life Married Sex and Communication Couples also say they could have better communication with their partner. The answer to "what should we do to make our sex life better/have sex more often/make sex more satisfying" often begins with talking. One study, published in 2019, tied better sexual communication with greater sexual satisfaction—and even fewer faked orgasms. "Women who continued to fake orgasms were more likely to indicate embarrassment talking about sex with their partner in explicit ways," the study's authors said. "More than half of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings, not feeling comfortable going into detail, and embarrassment," the study continued. Recap Many factors can affect the quality and frequency of sex, but many couples report that communication plays a pivotal role. Couples that communicate well may be more likely to have better sex more frequently. When You're Out of Sync If you're happy with the frequency of sex in your marriage, you're having the right amount of sex for you. If you or your partner are not, there are plenty of things you can do. How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner A Word From Verywell Though interesting, what statistics say about other peoples' sex lives is usually not relevant to your own. What matters is how you and partner feel about your relationship and sex life—and how well you can discuss it with each other. Communication is key. Depending on the underlying issues and emotions you and your partner are experiencing, you might benefit from working with a personal therapist, a couple's counselor, or a sex therapist. The Best Online Sex Therapy Programs Frequently Asked Questions How often do married couples with children have sex? Surveys tend to suggest that sex frequency declines after having children, although this varies from one couple to the next. Research has found that 89% of women report resuming sexual activity within six months after having a child. Factors such as sexual dysfunction, lack of sleep, body image issues, stress, conflicting schedules, and the demands of parenting can all play a role in how frequently couples have sex after having children. How does frequency of sex change with age? Changes in sexual desire and frequency are normal as people age. For men, sex drive tends to peak around age 18, when testosterone levels are highest, and then begins to gradually decline starting at around age 30.For women, sexual appetite usually peaks in the 30s and 40s and begins to decline following menopause. Hormone levels and other physical changes can play a role in how frequently people desire or engage in sex as they age. How does frequency of sex change with length of marriage? Research suggests that relationship duration plays a role in the decline of sex frequency over time. Known as the "honeymoon effect," couples typically have sex more frequently at the beginning of a relationship followed by a sharp decline after the first year. In addition to the length of the relationship, other factors such as physical health and age also affect sex frequency over time. 10 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE. Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014. Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1 Muise A, Schimmack U, Impett EA. Sexual frequency predicts well-being, but more is not always better. Soc Psychol Pers Sci. 2016;7(4):295-302. doi:10.1177/1948550615616462 Debrot A, Meuwly N, Muise A, Impett EA, Schoebi D. More than just sex: Affection mediates the association between sexual activity and well-being. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2017;43(3):287-299. doi:10.1177/0146167216684124 Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H, Fu TC, Dodge B, Ponander K, Sanders SA. Women’s sexual satisfaction, communication, and reasons for (no longer) faking orgasm: Findings from a U.S. probability sample. Arch Sex Behav. 2019;48(8):2461-2472. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0 Schoenfeld EA, Loving TJ, Pope MT, Huston TL, Štulhofer A. Does sex really matter? Examining the connections between spouses’ nonsexual behaviors, sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and marital satisfaction. Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(2):489-501. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0672-4 Loewenstein G, Krishnamurti T, Kopsic J, McDonald D. Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness?. J Econ Beh Org. 2015;116:206-218. doi:10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021 Gutzeit O, Levy G, Lowenstein L. Postpartum female sexual function: risk factors for postpartum sexual dysfunction. Sex Med. 2020;8(1):8-13. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005 Kelsey TW, Li LQ, Mitchell RT, Whelan A, Anderson RA, Wallace WH. A validated age-related normative model for male total testosterone shows increasing variance but no decline after age 40 years [published correction appears in PLoS One. 2015;10(2):e0117674]. PLoS One. 2014;9(10):e109346. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0109346 Easton JA, Confer JC, Goetz CD, Buss DM. Reproduction expediting: Sexual motivations, fantasies, and the ticking biological clock. Pers Individ Diff. 2010;49(5):516-520. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.018 Karraker A, Delamater J, Schwartz CR. Sexual frequency decline from midlife to later life. J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2011;66(4):502-512. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr058 By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Speak to a Therapist for Relationships Advertiser Disclosure × The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation.