My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore

It can be a difficult thought to think, "My wife doesn't love me anymore." If you feel this way, it is important to consider why it might be happening and what you can do about it.

When two people make a commitment for life to each other, a number of things are communicated.

First, that every interaction will be based on trust. That communication will be open and honest, and circumstances in life—good or bad, should never break this mutual promise. Most importantly, a couple agrees that their marriage is built on a foundation of love and respect. Without this love, there isn’t much for the relationship to stand on. This makes the absence of love on one person’s part, a worrying reality for the future of the relationship.

To determine whether or not your wife has lost feelings for you, we’ll be looking at likely signs that can indicate this change. Because feelings are salvageable, we’ll also examine actions to take to restore this love and the relationship with your wife.

Signs That Your Wife Doesn’t Love You Anymore

Even before a relationship blossoms into a marriage, both partners usually have a good idea of the temperament, moods, and inclinations of their companions.

As a husband, you have a unique viewpoint into the behavior and tendencies of your wife. This makes you very aware of any changes she might be going through, especially where your marriage is concerned.

The following are changes you may observe that can suggest your wife doesn’t love you anymore.

Your Communication Becomes Strained

Couples report higher satisfaction with their partners when they engage in high-quality communication. One of the first signs that your wife’s love and attention appear to be dwindling is a shift in communication. 

Where in the past, it was normal to give each other blow-by-blow accounts of the day’s activities, or to exchange calls every other hour to report every minor annoyance or observation—growing silence between you and your wife can be tough to handle.

Your Wife Never Has Time for You

For a marriage to work, certain sacrifices have to be made. Sometimes, this means giving up a weekend in bed because your partner wants to visit museums around the city. Other times, it can mean having difficult conversations because you care about the relationship enough to discuss budding problems.

If your wife constantly dismisses your request to spend time together, or comments how she already made plans, or is too tired for couple activities—it can be distressing for you. This might also be an early indication that her interests are elsewhere.

You Are Constantly Fighting

In any relationship, regular bickering can be draining. This is even more apparent in a marriage, where partners usually provide listening ears when their spouses complain of people they disagree with. Being on the other side as the person your spouse is fighting with can be tiring.

But more than being a stressful occasion, constant fighting has been recognized as a leading cause of divorce. When you and your wife are unable to see eye-to-eye on a regular basis, and these fights continue despite your best efforts—it could be another sign that her affection is changing.

There Is No More Fighting

Even worse than constant bickering, is absolute silence when disagreements come up. When your wife is no longer interested in hashing out what would have ideally caused a fight, and is instead happy to agree to whatever you decide, it might not always mean that she’s attempting to avoid conflict.

Sometimes, this could reveal her growing disinterest in the things that concern and threaten your marriage.

She Becomes More Focused on Herself

Plans without you, promotions she doesn’t share, a constant search for opportunities in different states or neighborhoods without carrying you along—all if these might show that your wife is plotting a life without your presence in it.

Intimacy Is Missing

When couples have frequent sex, especially frequent, enjoyable sex; this can greatly improve relationship satisfaction.

If your wife shows increasing indifference towards your sex life, or if intimacy appears to be a duty she performs for your benefit, it could signal where her feelings lie towards your marriage.

She Cheats

If you suspect or are certain that your wife had an affair, this can be a very obvious sign that she no longer loves you or is dissatisfied with your relationship.

Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, and one of the most painful developments in any relationship.

What Should I Do If My Wife Doesn't Love Me Anymore?

Coming to the realization that your wife no longer loves you can be disheartening. This discovery can make a future with her seem unlikely, but it doesn’t have to be the case. With marriages created on a foundation of love, this leaves an opening for love to be re-discovered. 

When you suspect your wife has changed feelings towards you, below are some steps you can take.

Look Inward

Before making any assumptions about the change in your wife’s attitude, one important move to make is examining how you have acted in the marriage.

Perhaps you failed to register a stressful period your wife is experiencing at work, or maybe her aloofness is a way of showing displeasure at something you did. There is a chance you’ve both begun to take each other for granted, and forgotten the effort required to build a long-lasting home together.

All of these things can guide the next steps to take for a possible change in your wife’s attitude.

Speak Honestly

To get to the bottom of any changes you may have observed in your wife, simply asking what may be wrong could be effective.

This question should be asked in a relaxed environment, where she may feel comfortable sharing anything that is on her mind. While accusations should be avoided, you should feel encouraged to share all the developments that have led to you asking the question.

Maintaining a level head, she should be given enough time to speak and air out her feelings before you make contributions to the discussion.

Assure Her of Your Love

While you are speaking to your wife, it’s important that she is aware of your unchanged feelings towards her. Assure her that you are willing to work through any rough patches your marriage might be going through. This will show that she has a reliable partner to fall back on.

Giving a reminder of your love can serve as a gentle push for her to make the effort towards improving the relationship.

Attend Couple’s Therapy

In some cases, it’s necessary for a professional to give guidance on the changes in your relationship. Attending counseling sessions together can help with navigating the growing distance, poor communication, and even the pain of infidelity in the relationship.

Move On

While it may be painful to accept, there comes a time where feelings move past the point of saving. If despite the honest conversations and professional counseling, your wife’s feelings appear to remain the same, it might be time to move on.

At this point, your happiness and welfare should take priority. Leaning on friends and family, as well as seeing a therapist can help with managing the painful transition.

A Word From Verywell

As a lifetime partner, your wife is an important part of your life. This makes it understandable that certain changes in her behavior, especially towards you, can be upsetting.

A suspicion that your wife might be falling out of love can hurt even the strongest of hearts. But this doesn’t have to put an end to the relationship. By communicating, and taking extra measures to restore her feelings, your relationship can be saved.

There are times, however, when very little can be done to save a union. In cases like this, focusing on yourself and your happiness should be the most important objective.