Depression What to Do When You Need Someone to Talk To By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert. Learn about our editorial process Updated on September 01, 2021 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Daniel B. Block, MD Medically reviewed by Daniel B. Block, MD LinkedIn Twitter Daniel B. Block, MD, is an award-winning, board-certified psychiatrist who operates a private practice in Pennsylvania. Learn about our Medical Review Board Print Verywell / Bailey Mariner No matter what you're going through at the moment, connecting and communicating with others is the key to living well, especially if you're struggling with an illness, depression, addiction, the loss of a loved one, or even just loneliness. For this reason, it's important to know what to do and where to look when you need to talk. Trying to bury your feelings, grit your teeth, and go it alone are never effective. In fact, your emotions and feelings are there whether you talk about them or not. Difficult emotions are not going to simply go away just because you ignore them. But if you make the effort to talk to another person, you may be able to release some of the tension and negativity that you're experiencing and feel better. This article takes a closer look at the benefits of talking to others and how to find people to talk to when you feel alone or isolated. Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Crisis Fatigue Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies for dealing with crisis fatigue. Click below to listen now. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Benefits of Talking to Others Finding someone to talk to not only provides connection, comfort, and understanding but also offers opportunities to talk about shared experiences as well as prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation. Stress Relief and Friendship Building Consequently, talking to another person relieves stress and helps build friendships and connections. Talking things over with other people also aids in decision-making and provides an avenue to process your thoughts and feelings. Talking also exposes you to new perspectives and ideas and helps with problem-solving. In fact, there are a number of powerful psychological benefits to talking. According to research from UCLA, talking can diminish the response of your brain's amygdala, which initiates the "fight or flight" response when you're feeling intense emotions like fear, anxiety, or aggression. As a result, when you get stressed out or overwhelmed, this part of your brain takes control and can even override your more logical thought processes. But researchers noted that by using "affect labeling," or talking through your experiences and processing what happened, you can override the amygdala's response and cope with your feelings in a more effective way. Friendships May Add Years to Your Life Additionally, research suggests that having strong social ties, or people you can talk to, is linked to a longer life. In contrast, social isolation and loneliness are linked to depression, poorer health outcomes, and risk of premature death. Additionally, having a variety of social relationships may help reduce stress as well as heart-related risks. So, it's important to find people you can share things with. Too many times, though, people are reluctant to reach out to others to talk despite the many benefits. Either they allow fear and shame to keep them silent, or they simply don't know how to reach out. Other times, they allow work or family obligations to get in the way of any type of real connection with others. And before long, they feel lonely and isolated and like they don't have anyone to talk to. Recap Having someone to talk to has important physical and mental health benefits, but there are sometimes obstacles that make it harder to find a confidant. How to Find Someone to Talk To If you're like most people, you may assume that you have no one to talk to, especially if you live far from family, are single, or don't have a best friend. But that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, it may really be easier to find someone to talk to when you really need it, if you know where to look. Here are some ways you can find someone to talk to. Make a List of Social Connections When you start thinking about who you might be able to open up to, start by making a list of your social connections. Include people you know from a variety of situations like family members, friends, Facebook friends, and even co-workers. Then, try to determine who on your list is not only emotionally intelligent but also emotionally skilled. Typically, people with these skills tend to be much easier to talk to because they are empathetic. Once you have a list of possibilities, reach out to them and invite them for coffee or to go for a walk. It's important to note that you may have to take it slow with newer relationships. You may not be able to talk about your deepest feelings right from the start of a new friendship. With time, though, you can build trust with one another and start sharing more intimate details about your life. Building a list of social connections is not ideal if you're in a crisis and need to talk to someone right away, but it is an important part of building a support system. How to Cope With Loneliness Join an Online Forum or Chat During those times when you feel like you need to talk with someone right away, you might want to consider an online forum or chat with a group tailored to your needs. Aside from providing you with people who understand what you're struggling with, you also have the option of sharing details anonymously. Sometimes people really appreciate the immediacy of an online forum or chat. Plus, communicating online can help take away any apprehension and help people with social anxiety relax and share. Participate in a Support Group One way to build your support system is to join a support group. Whether it's an online group or a group that meets in person, both options provide you with a network of people who can relate to what you're experiencing. There, you will be able to get the support and understanding that you need as well as offer support to others in similar situations. Work With a Therapist Whether you need to discuss a mental health issue, want help managing your stress, or just need to find ways to be more mentally healthy, a good therapist can help you make sense of your feelings and emotions. Therapists can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and may even be able to provide input on how to build a support network. If you don't have insurance or if your insurance doesn't cover mental health services, some counselors and therapists work on a sliding fee scale. You also may want to check out online therapy providers as well. In addition to being more conducive to busy schedules, sometimes these options are more affordable too. How to Pick the Right Therapist for You Participate in a Group A great way to make connections and meet new people is to join a group. Once there, you will meet people with similar passions and desires and you may be more likely to meet someone with whom you can build a lasting friendship. Plus, attending regular meetings and events with the group provides the opportunity to socialize and have a casual conversation. Contact a Hotline If you are in crisis, it's important to get help right away. For this reason, never hesitate to call a hotline. Regardless of your need, there are crisis lines with trained advocates to help you. Many times, they will listen and chat with you for as long as you need. Whether you want help with drug addiction, domestic violence, an eating disorder, or even thoughts of suicide, there are people available to talk almost any time of day. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Visit a Place of Worship Churches, mosques, and synagogues are a great place to find someone to talk with. Often, religious leaders are more than happy to talk with people in crisis or in need. So, you may want to look to your local church or synagogue as a possible resource. Even if you don't have a religious affiliation right now, you may want to pursue different options and see if there is a place of worship that fits with your values and beliefs. In fact, research has shown that people who attend religious services regularly have a greater number of social ties and connections. They also tend to report more positive social interactions and benefit from regular attendance than those who attend less frequently. What Is Spirituality? Summary Having someone to talk to is vital to your physical and emotional well-being. While there might be barriers that make it more difficult to build connections, there are steps you can take to improve your social support system. Reconnecting with people you already know, seeking new connections online, talking to a mental health professional, or calling a help hotline are all options you might consider depending on your needs. A Word From Verywell It's not uncommon to feel like you have no one to talk to. In fact, everyone feels that way at least once in their life. You don't have to be alone to feel that way either. You could feel alone and isolated at a party, at work, in your home, or even while spending time with friends. The important thing is that you make an effort to build a support system of people that you can turn to when you need to talk. Ideally, this support system will be comprised of friends and family members as well as trained professionals and others with similar struggles. In time, feeling like you have no one to talk with will seem like a distant memory. The Best Online Help Resources for Depression 7 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Milek A, Butler EA, Tackman AM, et al. “Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality. Psychol Sci. 2018;29(9):1451-1462. doi:10.1177/0956797618774252 Torre JB, Lieberman MD. Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation. Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706 Yang YC, Boen C, Gerken K, Li T, Schorpp K, Harris KM. Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2016;113(3):578-583. doi:10.1073/pnas.1511085112 National Institute of Health. Do social ties affect our health?. February 2017. Pendry LF, Salvatore J. Individual and social benefits of online discussion forums. Computers in Human Behavior. 2015;50:211-220. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2015.03.067 Tracy K, Wallace SP. Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction. Subst Abuse Rehabil. 2016;7:143-154. doi:10.2147/SAR.S81535 van Olphen J, Schulz A, Israel B, et al. Religious involvement, social support, and health among African-American women on the east side of Detroit. J Gen Intern Med. 2003;18(7):549-557. doi:10.1046/j.1525-1497.2003.21031.x By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? 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